In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The essay presents a clear position on the topic and follows a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Key strengths include a clear argument and a logical flow of ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more depth in developing ideas, such as providing specific examples or statistics to support the argument. The essay also contained several spelling and grammatical errors that detracted from its overall quality. Structural changes made include correcting spelling errors, improving grammatical accuracy, and enhancing coherence with better transitions. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific examples or studies related to reading habits and varying vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective style.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas could be improved with better transitions and linking phrases. For instance, using phrases like 'Moreover' or 'In addition' could enhance the connection between points. The repetition of phrases like 'read online' could also be varied for better cohesion.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms and sentence structures (e.g., 'no one will not buy', 'the people are using Internet for evrything'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors affect the overall accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on sentence construction and subject-verb agreement.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'statment', 'tecnology', 'evrything', 'provideing', 'prefering', 'there', 'devices') that detract from the overall quality. The writer could benefit from using a wider range of vocabulary and avoiding repetition, such as using synonyms for 'read' or 'online'.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position that aligns with the statement. However, it lacks depth in developing ideas and providing specific examples to support the argument. To improve, the writer could include statistics or studies on reading habits or the impact of technology on print media.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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