In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In the future, iI beleieve that most of the payment methods will change and cash money will no exist any longer exist. Instead of using cash money, people will be able to use their cards or mobile phones for making payments. This change ihas already started, and in developed countries, many people are using digital methods for making payments in the shopes. I think it is very possible that one day cash money will completely disappear. The main reason for this is that digital payments are much more convenient and secure thean cash payments. With digital payments, you do not need to carry cash with you all the time and worry about losing it. Alsodditionally, digital payments are much faster and easier to track. Many businesses are also prefering digital payments because it isthey are more efficient for them. However, some people may not be happy to give up using cash compleetely. One reason for this is that some peopleindividuals may not trust digital payment systems and worry about their privacy and security. They may feel that their financial information could be hacked or stolen if they use digital payments. AnoFurther reason is thatmore, some people may not have access to digital payment methods, especially in developing countries where not everyone has a bank account or a mobile phone. These peopleindividuals may rely on cash for their daily transactions and may find it difficult to adapt to a cashless society. In conclusion, while it is likely that cash money will eventually disappear in the future, there may be some challenges and resistance from some peoplecertain individuals. It is important for governments and businesses to address these concerns and ensure that everyone has access to secure and convenient digital payment methods.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents a logical argument regarding the potential disappearance of cash. Key strengths include a well-structured format with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include addressing spelling errors, grammatical inaccuracies, and enhancing the development of ideas with specific examples or statistics. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving spelling, and enhancing transitions between ideas for better coherence. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing more detailed examples of digital payment benefits and exploring the implications of a cashless society in greater depth. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices could be improved. For instance, transitions between ideas could be smoother, and the writer could use more varied linking phrases to enhance the flow of the essay. Phrases like 'on the other hand' or 'furthermore' could help in connecting contrasting ideas more effectively.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'will able' should be 'will be able') and incorrect verb forms. While the writer attempts to use complex sentences, the errors affect the overall clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and practice using a wider range of sentence structures correctly.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'futur', 'beleive', 'shopes', 'compleetly', 'prefering', 'then') that detract from the overall quality. The writer demonstrates some range in vocabulary, but to achieve a higher score, they should aim for more sophisticated word choices and ensure correct spelling. For example, using 'completely' instead of 'compleetly' would enhance clarity.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing the potential disappearance of cash and the reasons some people may resist this change. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, with more specific examples or statistics to support the claims. For improvement, the writer could elaborate on the implications of a cashless society or provide more detailed examples of how digital payments enhance convenience and security.
6.5

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