In the modern world, many employees lack soft skills such as communication and working in teams. What are the main causes of this problem? What are the effects of the lack of such skills? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

These days, a bsignificant number of employee theys do not have thepossess soft skills, for examplesuch as communication, and teamwork. There are several reasons for this issue, and it has many negative effects. One of main cause is that the education system focuses only ion hard skills, like the technical knowledge. The sStudents spend manya considerable amount of time on studying specific subjects, but they wasare not taught important skills tonecessary for success in the workplace like how to talk, such as how to communicate effectively and collaborate with coworkers. In addition, in this modern era, many people are addicted to technology like hand, such as smartphones. They onprimarily interact with other peoples online instead of face by -to-face, so they do not know well howwhich hinders their ability to communicate in thewell in real-life situations. The lack of soft skills has many negatives impacts. First, the workers find it difficult to work together because they cannot communicate weffectivelly and don not understand how to be a good teammates. This will lead lessleads to decreased productivity within the company overall. It also causes stress and conflict between employees because ofdue to misunderstanding. Os. Furthermore, another severe effect is theat workers who lack soft skills struggle to build relationships and lead peopleothers. It is hard for them to get promoted to higher position likes, such as manager or supervisor. They willmay remain stuck in the same position for a long time, even if they are smartintelligent, because they cannot handle peopleinterpersonal dynamics. In conclusion, poor soft skills isrepresent a serious issue caused by wrongthe misguided focus of education and too muchexcessive reliance on technology. It makes hardThis situation makes it challenging for employees to work in teams, lesreduces productiveity, and difficult to advance career. The scomplicates career advancement. Schools should put more effort into teach thising these skills from a young age, and employees must practice communicateing with others too improve their abilities.
DeletedOriginal textAddedCorrected text

Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task by identifying the causes and effects of the lack of soft skills among employees. Key strengths include the identification of relevant issues and a logical structure. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, coherence, and lexical variety. The structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, enhancing coherence with better transitions, and improving clarity in sentence construction. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing specific examples to illustrate points and expanding the vocabulary used to avoid repetition. The tone of the essay is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure, but the flow of ideas is somewhat disjointed. Some sentences lack clear connections, making it harder to follow the argument. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'furthermore' or 'in addition,' could improve the logical progression of ideas. For example, linking the effects of poor communication directly back to the causes would enhance coherence.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('employee they do not have'), incorrect verb forms ('was not taugh'), and awkward constructions ('the worker difficult to work together'). These errors affect clarity and readability. To improve, the writer should focus on sentence structure and ensure subject-verb agreement is maintained throughout.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'skils,' 'communiction,' 'colaborate,' 'technolgy') that detract from the overall quality. The use of phrases like 'soft skills' and 'hard skills' is effective, but the essay could benefit from a wider range of vocabulary. For instance, using synonyms for 'communicate' or 'teamwork' could enhance lexical variety.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by identifying causes and effects of the lack of soft skills among employees. However, it could benefit from more specific examples and a clearer structure. For instance, elaborating on how technology addiction specifically impacts communication skills would strengthen the argument. Additionally, the conclusion could summarize the main points more effectively.
6.0

Related Writing Samples

Part 2
5.0

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

Part 2
6.5

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
8.0

We have become a disposable society, preferring to buy new products rather than fixing existing items. What are the causes of this trend and what are the possible solutions?

Part 2
5.5

The tendency that news reports in media focus on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful for individuals and the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
7.0

Today single-use products are still very common. Why is this? What are the problems associated with this?

Part 2
6.5

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?