In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smart phones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In this essay i, I will discuss about the advantages and disAadvantages of working from home. tThis is a veryn important topic in today's world, as many people are now able to work from they'reir homes because of the internet and smartphones. One of the main advantages of working from home is that it saves a losignificant amount of time. When people work from home, they don not have to spend time travelling to their office, which can take a long time, especially if they live far away. This extra time can be used to dofor other important things likeactivities, such as spending time with family or doengaging in excercise. Another advantage is that working from home is moreoffers greater flexibleility. People can choose when they want to work and take breaks when they need to. This is especially helpful for peopleas needed. This is particularly beneficial for individuals who have young children or other responsibilities at home. However, theire are also some disadvantages tof working from home. One disadvantage is that it can be chardllenging to separate work and personal life when you are working fromr office is in your homuse. It can be tempting to work all the time, when your office is in youre house. Thisich can lead to burnout and stress. Another disadvantage is that working from home can be isolating. When you work in an office, you have the opportunity to interact with other peoplecolleagues and build relationships. When youIn contrast, working from home, you might not have as many may limit opportunities for social interaction, which can be difficult for some personindividuals. In conclusion, working from home has both advantages and disadvantages. While it can save time and be morprovide flexibleility, it can also lead to burnout and isolation. Companies and employees need to find a balance that works for them. It is importantcrucial for companies to support theire employees and provide resources to help them manage the challenges of working from home. Overall, the trend towards working from home is likely to continue as technology improves and more people value flexibility in they'reir work arrangements.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of working from home, presenting a clear position. Key strengths include a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more specific examples and a deeper exploration of points made, particularly regarding how companies can support employees. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving transitions, and enhancing vocabulary for a more formal tone. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing specific examples to illustrate points and varying sentence structures for greater complexity. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical structure that includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing that disrupt the flow. For example, phrases like 'this is a very important topic' could be more formally expressed. Improving transitions between ideas would enhance coherence.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms and punctuation mistakes, such as 'i' instead of 'I' and 'they're' instead of 'their.' While the overall meaning is clear, these errors detract from the overall quality of the writing. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of repetition and informal language, such as 'dont' instead of 'don't' and 'their' instead of 'there.' Additionally, the use of phrases like 'very important topic' could be replaced with more sophisticated expressions. Expanding the range of vocabulary and using more formal language would improve this score.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of working from home, presenting a clear position. However, the development of ideas could be improved with more specific examples and a deeper exploration of the points made. For instance, elaborating on how companies can support employees would strengthen the argument.
6.5

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