In the past, most working people had only one job. However, nowadays more and more people have more than one job at the same time. What are the reasons for this development? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Part 2
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, it is very common to see people who have multiple jobs at the same time, unlike in the past wheren working people mostly just had one job. There are several reasons for this change, and there are advantages and disadvantages tof having multiple job at the same times simultaneously. One of the main reasons for people having multiple jobs is because of the increase in living costs. The price of goods and services haves increased significantly over the years, and many people find that their income from one job is not enough to cover their expenses. Therefore, they have to take on additional jobs to supplement their income. Another reason is that some people may want to gain more experience and skills in different fields. By having multiple jobs in different industries, they can broaden their knowledge and skills, which can be beneficial for their career development. Having multiple jobs can bring several advantages. Firstly, it can increase a person's income, which can help them to better manage their finances and improve their standard of living. Secondly, it can provide them with more job security. If they lose one job, they still have another source of income to fall back on. Thirdly, it can help them to develop new skills and gain more experience, which can be valuable for their future career prospects. However, there are also some disadvantages tof having multiple jobs. One of the main disadvantages is that it can be very tiring and stressful. Juggling multiple jobs can be physically and mentally exhausting and can lead to burnout. It can also be difficult to balance work and personal life when working multiple jobs. Another disadvantage is that it can affect the quality of work. When a person is working multiple jobs, they may not be able to give their full attention and effort to each job, which can result in lower quality work. In conclusion, the increase in people having multiple jobs is a result of various factors such as rising living costs and the desire for career development. While it can bring benefits such as increased income and job security, it can also have negative impacts such as stress and lower quality of work. Ultimately, whether or not to take on multiple jobs depends on an individual's personal circumstances and priorities.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing the reasons for the increase in multiple jobs and outlining both advantages and disadvantages. Key strengths include a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, as well as appropriate vocabulary usage. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and article usage, as well as the need for more specific examples to support the arguments made. Structural changes were made to correct grammatical errors and improve coherence by ensuring proper pluralization and adding necessary transitions. For further improvements, the writer could incorporate specific examples or statistics to strengthen their arguments and vary their sentence structures to enhance grammatical range. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, using phrases like 'In addition' or 'Moreover' could help to better connect the points made about advantages and disadvantages.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('multiple job' should be 'multiple jobs') and incorrect article usage ('a person' instead of 'person'). While the overall meaning is clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. A wider range of complex sentence structures could also improve the score.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with terms like 'supplement', 'burnout', and 'career development' demonstrating a good range. However, there are instances of repetition, such as 'multiple job' which should be 'multiple jobs'. Additionally, using more sophisticated synonyms could enhance the lexical resource further.
7.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing the reasons for the increase in multiple jobs and outlining both advantages and disadvantages. However, it could benefit from more specific examples to support the points made. For instance, citing statistics on living costs or providing real-life scenarios could enhance the argument.
7.5

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