In the past when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own city. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? Use your own knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples.

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In the olden dayzs, students whicho studied for a university degree awere more likely to choosinge a university in their home citiy. ButHowever, nowadays, students have muchany more chances and opportunity fories to study in the abroad. This is havinghas both advantages and disadavantages, which iI will discuss in this essay. One of the bsignificant advantages of studying in another country, is that students can learning about different cultures and ways of living. When students live in another country, they are exposed to new food, customs, and lifestyles, which can broaden their horizons and make theirm more open-minded. For example, when iI studyied in America for one year, I learninged a lot about American culture and how it diffrenters from my own culture. This helpinged me to understand and appreciate diversity moreuch better. O Another advantage is that studying abroad can improved language skills. When students are surrounded by peoples who speak a different language, they are forced to practice and usinge that language all the time. This can helping them to learn the language more fastquickly and effectively than just studying in a classroom. Fore example, many of my freiends who studyied in eEnglish-speaking country come backies returned with much better eEnglish skills thean before. However, there isare also some disadvantages to studying abroad. One of the main drawbacks is the high costs. Studying in another country can be much more expensive thean studying at home, beacause students have to pay for things like airfare, housing, and living expenses. For exeample, when I studyied in America, I musthad to work a part-time job to help paying for my expenses, which was very challenging. OAnother potential disadvantage is culture shock and homesickness. When students are far away from family and freiends in a new country, they can feeling lonely and isolated. This can make it difficult for them to focus ton their studyies and adjust to a new environment. For exeample, some of my freiends who studyied abroad struggled with depression and anxiety because of culture shock and homesickness. In the conculusion, studying abroad haves both advantages and disadvantages. While it can provide students with valuable experiences and opportunityies for personal growth, it also comes with challenges such as high costs and culture shock. Ultimately, whether studying abroad is the right choice depends on the individual student's circumstances and goals.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad. Key strengths include a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, as well as relevant examples that support the main points. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, spelling, and the use of more varied vocabulary. The original essay contained numerous grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that hindered clarity. The revised version addresses these issues by correcting verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and spelling mistakes, while also enhancing the overall coherence with better transitions. Further improvements could include providing more specific examples and elaborating on how cultural exposure impacts personal growth. Additionally, the writer could work on expanding their vocabulary to avoid repetition and enhance the sophistication of their language. The tone of the essay is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal style throughout. Overall, the revisions made have significantly improved the clarity and effectiveness of the writing.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. For example, phrases like 'this is having both advantage and disadavantage' could be rephrased for clarity. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'furthermore' or 'in addition,' would improve the overall coherence of the essay.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms ('studied' instead of 'studyed'), subject-verb agreement issues ('student have' instead of 'students have'), and awkward sentence structures. These errors hinder clarity and reduce the overall effectiveness of the writing. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence.
4.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used in the essay is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'dayz,' 'citi,' 'disadavantage') that detract from the overall quality. While there are some attempts at using varied vocabulary, such as 'broaden their horizons' and 'culture shock,' the frequent repetition of simpler words like 'student' and 'study' indicates a limited range. To improve, the writer should aim to use synonyms and more sophisticated expressions.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and the examples provided could be more specific and detailed. For instance, elaborating on how cultural exposure specifically impacts personal growth would strengthen the argument. Additionally, the introduction could be clearer in stating the main points that will be discussed.
6.0

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