In today's digital age, anyone with a smartphone can capture and share photographs. This accessibility to photography diminishes the value of professional photographers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 1 (Academic)
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In today's world where technology has become ubiquitous, it is common to see people take a photo with their smartphones or cameras. Some people argue that this trend make thes professional photographs less valued. Although I acknowledge this point, I am of the opinion that professional photograps arehy is still very much in demand and appreciated. It cannot be disputed that almost everyone has a smartphone these days with a camera function. People take pictures of their daily lives, the food they eat, and the places they travel and, shareing them on social medias. This has indeed made it easier for the average person to capture moments and produce good quality photographs without needing to hire professionaly photographers. For example, many newly wedded couples choose to rely on their friends and family to capture photos at their wedding rather than pay for expensive photographers. However, I believe that professional photography still has its place in our society and will continue to be valued. This is because theyprofessionals possess skills, experience, and equipments that allow them to produce photos of a much superior quality than what smartphones are capable of. Professional photographers know how to manipulate elements like lighting, angles, and backdrops to create stunning visual effects. Their works often appears in magazines, advertisements, and other commercial contexts where high-quality images are essential. AlsoOn the other hand, while smartphone photography is convenient, it often lacks the artistic touch and technical precision that professionals provide. Additionally, there will always be occasions where people want to have photos taken by experts. For instance, many still prefer to have their pre-wedding, baby, or family portraits shot in studios by photographers. The end products are perceived as more precious and meaningful than causual shots on phones. In conclusion, while the wide availability of camera phones might have reduced our reliance ofn professional photography for daily snapshots, I believe that their services are still hihghly valued and sought after for special events and commercial purposes.
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a clear opinion that professional photography remains valued despite the prevalence of smartphone photography. Key strengths include a logical structure and relevant examples that support the argument. However, critical areas for improvement include addressing both sides of the argument more thoroughly and enhancing the transitions between points for better coherence. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving spelling, and adding cohesive devices to clarify the contrast between smartphone and professional photography. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include a more balanced exploration of the downsides of smartphone photography and a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and analytical style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, some transitions between points could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing smartphone photography to professional photography could be more clearly articulated. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'on the other hand' or 'in contrast,' would enhance the clarity of the argument.
6.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('make' should be 'makes') and incorrect article usage ('the professional photographs'). These errors affect the clarity of the writing. To improve, the writer should proofread for grammatical accuracy and aim to use more complex sentence structures.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'photographs' and 'photography'). Additionally, there are some spelling errors, such as 'photograps,' 'professionaly,' and 'creat,' which detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of synonyms and ensure correct spelling.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear opinion that professional photography is still valued despite the accessibility of smartphone photography. However, it could benefit from a more balanced exploration of both sides of the argument, as well as a clearer conclusion that summarizes the main points. For example, discussing the potential downsides of smartphone photography could strengthen the argument.
7.0

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