In today's job market it is far more important to have practical skills than theoretical knowledge. In the future, job applicants may not need any formal qualifications. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

It is said that practical skills are more important than theoretical knowledges in today's job market. Some people believe that in the future, job seekers may not need any formal qualifications. I partially disagree with this opinion. Firstly, I think that theoretical knowledges are is important too. It is the foundation for practical skills. Without theoretical knowledge, people cannot apply it into practice. For example, if you want to be a doctor, you need to study hard to gain medical theoretical knowledge first before you can treat patients. If a doctor only has practical skills but lack ofs theoretical knowledges, it would bepose a danger forto patients. Therefore, I think theoretical knowledge is important too and cannot be ignored. Secondly, I also believe that formal qualifications are still necessary in the future. Formal qualifications, such as degrees or certificates, can prove that a person has a certain level of knowledges and skills in a field. It is a way for employers to evaluate job applicants. Without formal qualifications, it would be hard for employers to know if a job seeker is qualifyied for the position or not. Furthermore, formal qualifications also serve as motivation for people to study hard and gain knowledges. . In conclusion, while I agree that practical skill iss are important in today's job market, I also think that theoretical knowledge and formal qualifications are necessary too. They should not be ignored or eliminated in the future.
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a clear position and addresses the prompt effectively, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic. Key strengths include the clear argument structure and relevant examples that support the main points. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the variety of vocabulary and grammatical accuracy, as well as improving transitions between ideas for better coherence. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving the clarity of expressions, and enhancing the flow between paragraphs with appropriate transition phrases. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing more detailed examples to strengthen arguments and varying sentence structures to enhance grammatical range. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical progression of ideas. However, some transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved for better flow. For instance, using cohesive devices like 'Moreover' or 'In addition' could enhance the connection between points. The conclusion summarizes the main ideas but could be more impactful.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates some grammatical range, but there are several errors that affect clarity, such as 'theoretic knowledges' (should be 'theoretical knowledge') and 'lack of theoretic knowledges' (should be 'lack theoretical knowledge'). Additionally, phrases like 'it would be danger' should be corrected to 'it would pose a danger.' Improving grammatical accuracy and using a wider variety of sentence structures would enhance the score.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, but there are instances of repetition, such as 'theoretical knowledge' and 'practical skills.' The use of phrases like 'it would be danger for patients' contains grammatical errors and could be expressed more clearly as 'it would pose a danger to patients.' A wider range of vocabulary and more precise expressions would enhance the score.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position that partially disagrees with the statement. It develops main ideas regarding the importance of theoretical knowledge and formal qualifications, providing relevant examples. However, the argument could be strengthened with more detailed examples and a clearer distinction between the importance of practical skills and theoretical knowledge.
6.5

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