Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

I amdo not agree with the statemaent that only governments and big companyies can improve the environment, and that individuals cannot do anything. In my oppinion, every person in the world haves a responsibility to take care of the environment and make it better, even if it is just small thingthrough small actions. Firstly, individuals can make a bsignificant difference by changing theire daily habits and routines. For examples, we can reduce the amount of waste we produce by using reusable bags and water bottles instead of disposable ones. We can alsoAdditionally, we can save energy by turning off lights and unplugging electronics when we are not using them. These small actions may seem insignificants, but when millions of people doengage in them, they can have a bigsubstantial impeact on the environment. Secondly, individuals can also influence the actions of governments and large companies through theire choices and behaviours. For instance, if many people start buying environmentally friendly products, companies will be motivated to produce more of these products to meet the demand. Similarly, if citizens voice theire concerns about environmental issues to theire elected officials, governments may be more likely to take action to address these issues. In conclusions, while it is true that governments and large companies have a major role to play in protecting the environment, individuals also have the power to make a difference through theire daily actions and choices. By working together and doing our part, we can all contribute to a healthyier and more sustainable planet for future generations.
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a clear argument that individuals can contribute to environmental improvement, which is a key strength. It develops main ideas with relevant examples, such as changing daily habits and influencing companies through consumer choices. However, critical areas for improvement include addressing spelling and grammatical errors, enhancing coherence with smoother transitions, and providing a more robust conclusion that summarizes the main points effectively. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving spelling, and enhancing the clarity of the conclusion. Additionally, I added transition phrases to improve the flow between paragraphs. For further improvements, the writer could include more specific examples to strengthen their arguments and vary their vocabulary to demonstrate a wider lexical range. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, some transitions between points could be smoother, and the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited. For example, using phrases like 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' could enhance the clarity of contrasting ideas. Additionally, the conclusion could better summarize the key arguments presented.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('I am not agree'), incorrect verb forms ('have a responsiblity'), and misuse of articles. These errors affect clarity and accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical mistakes and varying sentence structures.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, with some effective phrases such as 'environmentally friendly products' and 'daily habits.' However, there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'statemant,' 'companys,' 'insignificants,' 'impect,' 'healthyer') that detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary and ensuring correct spelling.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position that individuals can contribute to environmental improvement. It develops main ideas with relevant examples, such as changing daily habits and influencing companies through consumer choices. However, the argument could be strengthened with more specific examples and a clearer conclusion that summarizes the main points.
6.5

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