Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?

What this means:

The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. For instance, the transition between discussing benefits and downsides could be smoother. To enhance coherence, the writer should use more cohesive devices and ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one.

How to improve:

• Use a clear paragraph structure
• Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
• Maintain logical progression
• Use referencing effectively

What this means:

The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'employees does not need' should be 'employees do not need') and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'workers may not focuses' should be 'workers may not focus'). These errors affect the clarity of the writing. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence.

How to improve:

• Use complex sentence structures
• Maintain grammatical accuracy
• Use a variety of sentence patterns
• Check for common grammar errors

What this means:

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and incorrect word forms (e.g., 'peoples' should be 'people', 'fexlibities' should be 'flexibilities'). The use of phrases like 'water cooler' and 'chit chat' adds some idiomatic expression, but the overall range of vocabulary could be expanded. To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider variety of vocabulary and ensure correct word forms.

How to improve:

• Use a wider range of vocabulary
• Demonstrate awareness of collocations
• Avoid word repetition
• Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately

What this means:

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the benefits and disadvantages of working outside the traditional workplace. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and the conclusion could be more robust. To improve, the writer could provide more specific examples and elaborate on the points made, such as discussing how remote work impacts productivity or employee satisfaction in more detail.

How to improve:

• Address all parts of the task fully
• Support ideas with specific examples
• Develop each point thoroughly
• Stay relevant to the topic