Innovation is often driven by the pursuit of profit and economic growth. However, some argue that it should prioritize addressing social and environmental issues. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Part 2
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, there isare many innovations coming out every day. Most of thisese innovations are because people wantdriven by people's desire to make more money and help the economy to growed. But. However, some sayargue that innovations should instead focusing on help with social problemsaddressing social and environmental problems. I will discussed both sides of this issue. On one hand, innovations can bringing a lot of economic benefits. When peoples invent new things, they can sell ithem and earn profits for themselfves. This helps drive the economy forward. For example, the invention of smartphones has lead to new industries and many jobs, which wais good for the economy. PThe pursuit of money motivates people to keep innovateing and coming up with new ideas. On the other hand side, maybe, innovations should pay more attentions to societyal issues and the environmental concerns. There isare many problems like, such as poverty and climate change, that need solutions. If innovations focus too much on profits, then thisese important problems might get ignored. We need innovation to help make the world morea better place. For exampleinstance, green energy technology tocan reduce pollutions. In conclusions, I beliefve that innovations should stryive to balance both things. Itobjectives. They can still aim for profits and growing economyeconomic growth, but should also put some focus ton helping society and protecting the environments. If innovation only cares about money, then we will still havcontinue to face many problems in the world. GThe government should givingprovide incentives for innovations that have social benefits, not only economic benefitones.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the task by discussing both sides of the argument regarding the focus of innovations. Key strengths include the clear identification of the two perspectives and the use of relevant examples, such as smartphones and green energy technology. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for clearer articulation of the writer's position, more specific examples, and enhanced coherence through better transitions and phrasing. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving phrasing for clarity, and ensuring proper paragraph separation. Additionally, the conclusion was strengthened to clearly reflect the writer's opinion. Further improvements could include expanding on specific examples and providing more detailed explanations of how innovations can address social and environmental issues. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. For example, phrases like 'on the other hand side' could be improved to 'on the other hand.' Using more cohesive devices and ensuring logical progression between ideas would enhance coherence.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('there is many innovation'), incorrect verb forms ('growed' should be 'grown'), and awkward constructions ('should instead focusing'). While the writer demonstrates some range in sentence structures, the errors detract from overall clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and sentence variety.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and inaccuracies, such as 'help the economy to growed' (should be 'grow') and 'bringing a lot of economic benefit.' The use of phrases like 'green energy technology' is positive, but the overall range of vocabulary is limited. To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider variety of vocabulary and avoid repetitive phrases.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both sides of the argument regarding innovation's focus on profit versus social and environmental issues. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and the position is not clearly articulated. To improve, the writer could provide more specific examples and a clearer conclusion that reinforces their opinion.
5.5

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