"Internet: A boon or a bane"

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

IThe internet is one of the greatest inventions humans hasve ever made. In my point of view, it is both a boon and a bane for society in my point of view. It has a lot ofmany benefits but also have some drawbacks if not used propers. ly. On the one hand, the internets haves made our lifves very easys and comfortables. We can do many things just by sitting at homes, likesuch as shopping, paying bills, and learning new things etc. It save ours us a lots of times and efforts. AlsoFurthermore, it has connected the whole world together. We can easily communicates with anyone in any corner of the worldglobe. It helpings in spreading knowledges and informations. On the others hand, the internet also haves some negativitye impacts if not used in limitmoderation and in a proper way. It makes people lazy and unproductives. People waste there lotsMany individuals waste a significant amount of times i on social media and other unnecessary things. Alsoactivities. Additionally, it is affecting health, as people are spending more times on screens than doengaging in physical activityies. Some peopleindividuals also use it for wrong things likeharmful purposes, such as hacking, bullying, and spreading fake informations etc. In conclusion, I would says that the internet is a boon if used in proper waly and in limitsmoderation. We should take advantage of it for goods things but also be aware of its drawbacks and use it responsiblesy. It is a powerful tool whichthat can be used to make the world a better place or to destroy it. CThe choice is ours.
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a clear argument regarding the dual nature of the internet, effectively addressing the task. Key strengths of the essay include a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, as well as a coherent argument that acknowledges both the positive and negative aspects of the internet. Critical areas for improvement include the need for more specific examples to support the claims made, as well as a broader range of vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource. Additionally, grammatical accuracy needs attention, particularly with subject-verb agreement and verb forms. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving transitions between ideas, and enhancing clarity in expression. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific examples of how the internet has impacted society, which would add depth to the argument. Furthermore, varying sentence structures could improve the overall flow and engagement of the essay. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas could be improved with better transitions and linking phrases. For example, using phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' could enhance the cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('have' instead of 'has'), incorrect verb forms ('make' instead of 'makes'), and awkward constructions. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and vary sentence structures.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and contains several errors, such as 'internets' instead of 'internet' and 'knowledges' instead of 'knowledge.' There are also instances of repetition, such as 'times' and 'things.' To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and ensure accuracy in word forms.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the topic of the internet as both a boon and a bane, presenting a clear position. However, the development of ideas lacks depth and specific examples. For improvement, the writer could include more detailed examples to support their points, such as specific instances of how the internet has positively or negatively impacted society.
6.0

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