It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to University. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, there isare more and more young people who decides to take onea year restoff after finished aing school and before going to Uuniversity. This trend haves both good sides and bad sides, which I will discuss in this eassay. First of all, one of the maine advantages of having a year off between school and Uuniversity areis that it gives people the chance to travel and see the world. Many young people use this time to go to other countryies, learn about different cultures, and gain new experiences. AlsoFurthermore, a year break can allow people to work and save some money for they Uir university educations. This extra money can help covering tuition fees and liveing costs, which can be very expensive, especially if you are studying in another city or abroad. On the other hand, taking a year off can also have some disadvantages. One of the biggest drawbacks is that it can make it harder to get back into studying mode after a long break. Students might loose theire momentum and motivation, and find it difficult to focus on theire studies again. BesidesAdditionally, taking a year off can also delayed the start of your career. In today's competitive job market, haveing a degree and relevant work experience can make a big difference. In conclusion, taking a year off between school and Uuniversity can be a great opportunity for personal growth and gaining new experiences. However, it is important to weight the proses and conses carefully before deciding. Students should also make shoure to used theire time productively and not loose sighte of theire long-term goals.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of taking a year off between school and university. Key strengths include a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more thorough development of ideas, such as providing specific examples or statistics to support the points made. Additionally, the essay had several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that disrupted the flow of ideas. The structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving transitions between points, and enhancing clarity. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating a wider range of vocabulary and providing more detailed examples to strengthen arguments. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and a lack of clear transitions between points. For example, using cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' could improve the connection between ideas. Additionally, the conclusion could better summarize the main points discussed.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('there is more and more young people'), incorrect verb forms ('decides,' 'finished,' 'go'), and awkward constructions. While the writer demonstrates some range in sentence structure, the frequent errors hinder clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency, as well as proofreading for grammatical accuracy.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of repetitive words and phrases, such as 'year off' and 'University.' There are also some spelling errors (e.g., 'countrys,' 'liveing,' 'shore') that detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling, such as using 'countries' and 'living.'
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of taking a year off between school and university. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, with more specific examples to support the points made. For instance, elaborating on how travel can enhance personal growth or providing statistics on employment rates for those who take a gap year could strengthen the argument.
6.0

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