It is important to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age, punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion. What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to teach good behavior in children?

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

It is an important thing for children to learn the difference between right and wrong when they are still small. Because tThis is how they will know later what iconstitutes good action and bad actions. Without this knowledge, humans cannot knowing how to behave properly in the society. However, I amdo not fully agree that punishments is a neededcessary way forto teaching children this thingese concepts. Children can be teachedaught about right and wrongs in many ways that do not usesinvolve punishments. Parents can explaning to children with good information and examples of what iconstitutes good behaviours. They can learn moral lessons from storyies and movies too that parents showing to them. ByIn this way, children comes to know about what is right without getting hurt. Punishments can make a child sad and angry. ItThey can cause they do not children to dislike their parents or teachers. If too much hardsh, it is possible they have badat they may have negative effects ion their mind about its even wheninto adult. Sohood. Therefore, I think it is better to avoid punishment. ButHowever, a small amount of punishment is acceptable if needed, likesuch as not allowing TV or makeing them write lines, but there should be no violence to the body. In conclusion, I partially agree with the opinion. All childrens need to learn right andfrom wrong, but usually it is canthis can usually be done by telling and show noting rather than by punishment. Only small, safe punishments, like no TV if really need, should be used if absolutely necessary. It is important for parents and teachers to be careful with punishment, as it can have badnegative effects on a developing child. Thank you.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument regarding the teaching of right and wrong to children. Key strengths of the essay include a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The writer addresses the prompt and provides some reasoning for their viewpoint. Critical areas for improvement include the need for more specific examples of non-punitive teaching methods and a clearer conclusion. The use of cohesive devices could be enhanced to improve the flow of ideas, and grammatical accuracy needs attention, particularly with subject-verb agreement and verb forms. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving phrasing for clarity, and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include expanding on specific non-punitive methods of teaching right from wrong and providing more detailed examples of acceptable punishments. Additionally, the writer could benefit from varying sentence structures to enhance grammatical range. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and reasoned approach throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. To enhance coherence, the writer could use more cohesive devices and ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues and incorrect verb forms. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on using correct grammatical structures and varying sentence types.
4.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of repetition and incorrect word forms (e.g., 'teached' instead of 'taught', 'explaning' instead of 'explaining'). To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct usage.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the importance of learning right from wrong and the role of punishment. However, the argument is not fully developed, and the conclusion lacks clarity. To improve, the writer should provide more specific examples of non-punitive teaching methods and elaborate on the types of punishments that may be acceptable.
5.0

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