It is the schools' responsibility to teach students good behaviour in addition to providing formal education. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, more and more people thinks that schools should teaching students not just only knowliedge, but also teach students having good behaviouring. I am totally agree with this opinion,; I thinkbelieve schools have a responsibility forto teach students how to behave well. On the one hand, I believe schools should teach students how beto behave good. Because mwell. Most students spend a lot of time in school every day, and they can learn many things from teachrers and classmates in school. For example, they can learnt how to respiect others, how to be polite, and how to work together with other students. These are all importeant life skills that they will need in the future. Moreover, if schools do not teaching these things, some students mighte not learn them from other places, like fromsuch as home or from society. Their parents may be too busy to teach them, or the sociaety they live not good enuff to learn from.in may not provide a good environment for learning. On the other hands, I also think that providing formal educations is equally importeant for schools. The main purpose of school is still to teach students the knowlaedge and skills that they needs to succseed in life. For instantce, they need to learn math, science, languages, and other subjects that will help them in their future jobs or studyies. Without theseis basic knowledges, they will have a hard time to finding good jobs or go etting into university. SoTherefore, schools should balance between teaching good behavor andiour with providing formial educations. In conclusion, I strongly agree that schools have a responsibility to teach students good behaviour, not just only focus on formal educations. Schools should find a balance between these two things, soaspects so that students can grow up to be well-rounded personindividuals with good knoliwledge and good behavoiour. This will help them a lotgreatly benefit them in thieir future lifeves and careers.
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a clear argument that schools should teach both good behaviour and formal education, which is a key strength. The structure is generally appropriate, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, there are critical areas for improvement, particularly in grammar, spelling, and coherence. The frequent grammatical errors and spelling mistakes detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing. The structural changes made include correcting subject-verb agreement, improving transitions, and enhancing vocabulary usage. For further improvement, the writer could include more specific examples or statistics to support their claims and enhance the depth of their argument. The tone is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. For instance, the phrase 'on the other hands' should be 'on the other hand.' To improve coherence, the writer could use more cohesive devices and ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('more and more people thinks'), incorrect verb forms ('should teaching'), and awkward sentence structures. While the writer demonstrates some understanding of grammatical structures, the frequency of errors affects clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on sentence construction and ensure subject-verb agreement.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and contains several spelling errors (e.g., 'knowlege,' 'behaviouring,' 'importent'). While there are attempts to use varied vocabulary, the frequent repetition of simple words and phrases detracts from the overall quality. To enhance lexical resource, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position that schools should teach good behavior alongside formal education. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, with more specific examples and a deeper exploration of the implications of this responsibility. For improvement, the writer could include more detailed examples of how good behavior impacts students' futures or provide statistics to support their claims.
6.0

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