It is very important for people to be able to speak more than one language. Therefore, children should start learning a foreign language as young as possible. Do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

It is very much important that every person should learn more thean one language in today's world. I am agree with the statement that childrens must begin to learning a foreign language from very young ageas early as possible like, ideally in their earily childhood. There are several reasons to support my opeinion. Firstly, when children learn languages at a young age, they can learn it moreacquire them faster and more easily than the adult learners. The young minds of children isare like spoonge, it observe everything so fast. Sos; they absorb everything quickly. Therefore, if they weare exposed to different languages in their early ageyears, they wouldill be able to catch it very quickly and itgrasp them rapidly, which will also help them to learning how to speak fluaently. Secondly, learning more languages can give moreprovide greater opeportunities for children in their future lifeves. They will be able to communicate with more peoples from other countries and cultures. Nowadays, many companyies are looking for employees who can speeak multiple langauages because it can help business toes grow in different regions of the world. SoThus, if children start learning languages from a young age then, they will have a better chance to getof securing good jobs in the future. In the conclusion, iI strongly agree that it is very cruscial for childrens to begin learning anotherdditional languages from their early childhood. It will not onlyNot only will this help them to learning languages more easily and quickly, but also it will givalso provide them with better opportunities in theire future lifeves and careers.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument in favour of early language learning. Key strengths include a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that reiterates the main points. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, spelling, and the depth of argumentation. The revised version addresses these issues by correcting grammatical errors, improving vocabulary, and enhancing coherence through better transitions. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing specific examples or studies to support claims about language acquisition and expanding on the benefits of multilingualism. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. For instance, phrases like 'the young mind of children is like spoonge' could be better articulated. The use of cohesive devices is limited, and transitions between ideas could be improved for better clarity.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('I am agree'), incorrect verb forms ('begin to learning'), and punctuation mistakes. While the writer attempts to use complex sentences, many are awkwardly constructed. To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and vary sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'then' instead of 'than', 'childrens' instead of 'children', 'opertunities' instead of 'opportunities'). Additionally, some phrases are repetitive, such as 'learning a foreign language' and 'young age'. To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by agreeing with the statement and providing reasons to support this position. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, and some points lack depth. For example, while the essay mentions that children learn languages faster, it could benefit from specific examples or studies to strengthen the argument. Additionally, the conclusion reiterates the main points but does not introduce any new insights.
6.0

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