Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion, and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What are the possible solutions?

Part 2
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, large companies can doing spend a lot of money foron the advertisement and promotion of their products. This makes people more attractived to buy their products rather thean the small business thofferings. There isare some problems beacause of this, which I will discuss in this aessay. First of all, big businesses have bsig moneynificant funds to spending on the marketing. They can made goodcreate effective advertisement whichs that attaract people and makencourage them to buy. Alsodditionally, they are promotione their products on TV, radio, the internet, etc., which is seen by many people. On the other hand, small businesses doesn not have much money to dofor advaertisement and promotion, so people doesn't kare nowt aboutware of theire products and they dont buy. do not buy them. Secondly, because people buy more from big companyies, it causes problems for small businesses. They don not have many customers and theconsequently don not make much money. This is problematic because if small companies close, then people will loste jobs and it will cause e, leading to unemployment. AlsoFurthermore, big companies will makemay create a monopoly and they will increase prices, which is not good for people. beneficial for consumers. There isare some solution fors to this problem. Firstly, the government can make rule that big companies have to give some money toimplement rules requiring big companies to allocate some funds to support small companies foin their marketing efforts. This way, small companies can also promotione their products, and more people will know and buybecome aware of them. Another solution is thatfor the government can doingto advertise for small company products, so peopleconsumers will know more about it. them. In conclusion, big companies spending a lot of money on advertisement, which causes problems for small companibusinesses. However, this problemissue can be resolved by the government makestablishing rules for big companies to helpassist small ones and also government itself doingby promotion forng small company products itself.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the task, addressing the problems caused by large companies' marketing budgets and suggesting potential solutions. Key strengths include a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, coherence, and lexical resource. The writer should focus on correcting grammatical errors, using a wider range of vocabulary, and ensuring clearer topic sentences and transitions between ideas. Structural changes made include correcting awkward phrasing and ensuring proper subject-verb agreement. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing specific examples to support arguments and enhancing the variety of vocabulary used. The tone of the essay is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. To improve coherence, the writer should use clearer topic sentences and linking words to connect ideas more effectively.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms ('can doing'), subject-verb agreement issues ('big business have big money'), and sentence structure problems. These errors hinder clarity and accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on mastering basic grammatical structures and ensuring subject-verb agreement.
4.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of incorrect word forms and spelling errors (e.g., 'alot', 'advartisement', 'monoply'). The writer demonstrates some range but relies on repetitive phrases. To enhance lexical resource, the writer should aim to use a wider variety of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing the problems caused by large businesses' marketing budgets and suggesting possible solutions. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and the arguments could be more clearly articulated. For improvement, the writer should provide more specific examples and elaborate on the solutions proposed.
5.0

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