Leaders and directors in an organization are normally older people. Some people think younger leaders would be better. Do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

It is true that in most organizations, leaders and directors are tend to be older peoples. While some individuals believinge that younger leaders could be more effective, I personally disagree with this perspective. There are several compelling reasons to prefer older leaders over their younger one.counterparts. Firstly, older leaders usually have much more experience than their younger counterparts. They have spent many years working in their field and have accumulated a wealth of knowledge and expertise. This experience allows them to make more informed decisions and navigate complex challenges more effectively. Younger leaders, on the other hand,In contrast, younger leaders may lack the necessary experience and may struggle to handle difficult situations. Secondly, older leaders often have well-established networks and relationships within their industry. They have built strong connections with other leaders, partners, and stakeholders over the years. These relationships can be incredibly valuable when it comes to securing resources, forging partnerships, and driving organizational growth. YConversely, younger leaders may not have had the time to develop such extensive networks, putting them at a disadvantage. Finally, older leaders tend to have a deeper understanding of the culture and values of their organization. They have witnessed the evolution of the company over time and have a clearer sense of its identity and purpose. This understanding allows them to align their leadership style with the organization's core principles and make decisions that are consistent with its long-term vision. YWhile younger leaders may bring fresh perspectives but, they may also struggle to fully grasp the intricacies of the organization's culture. In conclusion, while younger leaders can certainly bring energy and new ideas to an organization, I believe that older leaders are generally better equipped to lead effectively. Their experience, networks, and deep understanding of the organization's culture make them well-suited for leadership roles. Of course, there will always be exceptions, and some young leaders may prove to be exceptional. However, in most cases, I would argue that organizations are better served by leaders who havepossess the wisdom and expertise that comes with age.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a clear position against the idea that younger leaders would be better. Key strengths include a well-structured argument with relevant supporting details, such as experience, networks, and understanding of organizational culture. However, critical areas for improvement include the need to acknowledge counterarguments more explicitly and to provide specific examples of older leaders' successes. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, enhancing transitions between points for better flow, and replacing repetitive phrases with synonyms to demonstrate a wider lexical range. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific examples of successful older leaders and varying sentence structures to enhance sophistication. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical progression of ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific reason supporting the main argument. However, the use of cohesive devices could be enhanced; for instance, transitions between points could be smoother to improve overall flow.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as 'are tend to be' and 'believing' instead of 'believe.' These errors affect clarity and accuracy. More complex sentence structures could also be employed to enhance the overall sophistication of the writing.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with phrases like 'wealth of knowledge' and 'well-established networks.' However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'younger leaders' and 'older leaders,' which could be replaced with synonyms to demonstrate a wider lexical range. Additionally, minor spelling errors like 'necesary' should be corrected.
7.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, presenting a clear position against the idea that younger leaders would be better. It develops main ideas with relevant examples, such as experience, networks, and understanding of organizational culture. However, it could be improved by acknowledging counterarguments more explicitly and providing specific examples of older leaders' successes.
7.5

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