Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

What this means:

The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some transitions between sentences and ideas are abrupt, which affects the overall coherence. To enhance cohesion, the writer could use more varied cohesive devices and ensure smoother transitions between points.

How to improve:

• Use a clear paragraph structure
• Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
• Maintain logical progression
• Use referencing effectively

What this means:

The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('English skills is often a requirement'), incorrect verb forms ('has became'), and awkward constructions ('the teaching of local language is being neglect'). While the writer demonstrates some grammatical range, the frequency of errors detracts from clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.

How to improve:

• Use complex sentence structures
• Maintain grammatical accuracy
• Use a variety of sentence patterns
• Check for common grammar errors

What this means:

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'importance', 'local language') and some inaccuracies (e.g., 'the study of English language has became'). The writer could improve by incorporating a wider range of vocabulary and avoiding redundancy. Using synonyms or more sophisticated expressions would enhance the lexical resource.

How to improve:

• Use a wider range of vocabulary
• Demonstrate awareness of collocations
• Avoid word repetition
• Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately

What this means:

The essay addresses the task by discussing the importance of learning English and the need to protect local languages. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and the arguments could be more thoroughly supported with examples. For improvement, the writer could provide specific examples of local languages at risk and elaborate on the proposed solutions.

How to improve:

• Address all parts of the task fully
• Support ideas with specific examples
• Develop each point thoroughly
• Stay relevant to the topic