Many employees can now do their work from home using modern technology. However, this change may only benefit workers, not the employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In recent years, working from housme has become more popularity for many workers due to the development of technology. Although this work arrangement offers some benefits for workers, iI disagree dthat it does not benefit employers too. First of all, employees who work from housingme can have an improved work-life balance. They dont must not have to spend time commuting to the workplace every day, which saves a lot of time and reducese stress. EFor example, my coworker who works from his house tells me he has more time to spend with his family and doingpursue hobbies he like. Denjoys. This can improve employee satisfaction and motivastion, resulting in increased productivity that benefits the company. Furthermore, companies can save muoney by having employees work remotely. They don not need to provide as big oflarge an office space or pay for equipments, electricity, and other overhead expenses associated with a traditional workplace. A study shows that companyies can save an average of $11,000 per year for each remotely employee. These cost savings can be invested back into the company for growth and development. However i, I acknowledge that working from home can create some challenges for employers too. For examples, communication and collaboration between employees may be harder when they are not in the same physical location. It can also be difficult for managers to supervizse and mentor employees from a distance. But disNevertheless, these issues can be addressed by regular check-ins and using online tools for communication and teamwork. In conclushion, iI believe allowing employees to work from home using modern technology can benefit both workers and employers. It improves work-life balance for employees and saves costs for companies, while any challenges can be overcome with careful management. Employers should consider offering this work arrangement as an option to attract and retain talent in today's competaitive job market.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and addresses both the benefits and challenges of remote work. Key strengths include a logical structure and relevant examples that support the main points. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the depth of the argument regarding employer challenges and improving coherence through better transitions. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving spelling, and refining the flow between paragraphs. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include expanding on specific challenges faced by employers and incorporating a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some transitions between sentences and paragraphs are abrupt, which affects the overall coherence. For instance, the shift from discussing employee benefits to employer challenges could be smoother. To enhance cohesion, the writer could use more varied cohesive devices and ensure that each paragraph clearly connects to the main argument.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure (e.g., 'i disagree dat it not benefit employer too', 'Thy dont must spend time'). These errors sometimes hinder clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures to enhance complexity.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of incorrect word forms and spelling errors (e.g., 'work from house', 'dis', 'colaboracion'). Additionally, there is some repetition of words like 'employee' and 'work', which could be varied for better lexical range. To improve, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary and ensuring correct spelling and word forms.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the benefits and challenges of remote work for employees and employers. However, the argument could be more clearly structured, and some points lack depth. For example, while the benefits for employees are well articulated, the challenges for employers could be expanded with more specific examples. To improve, the writer could provide a clearer thesis statement and ensure that each paragraph directly supports their position.
6.0

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