Many people believe that formal "pen and paper" examinations are not the best method of assessing educational achievement. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In toadyday's world, education is becoming more and more important for personal success in life. Tests and exams are usually the main way to evaluate students' knoweledge and achievements. ButHowever, some people thinks that traditional "pen and paper" exams are not always the best choice to show a person's real skills and level of knowledge. I fully agree with this view and iI will explain why in the following paragraph. s. Firstly, traditional tests hasve a lot of shortagecomings. When a student is taking an exam, he or she maybe feel nerwvous or stressed. ItThis can badly affect on the results, even if the person haves a good knowledge of the subjects. Moreover, some students are not comfortabele with time limits and pressure, which makes them perform worser than they could. In my view, thisese factors can prevent students tofrom showing themir real skills and potential during the exams. Secondly, iI believe that there are many another ways to measure students' abilities more effectively. For example, teachers could use practical tasks, projects, or presaentations to evaluate pupils' knoweledge and understanding of the material. Thisese methods are more interactive and engaging, which can help students to show thieir strengths and creativity. Alsodditionally, this approach can help to develop important life skills, likesuch as communication, teamwork, and problem-solving. In conclusion, while traditional "pen and paper" exams are a widely used way to evaluate students, they hasve some significant drawbacks. I believe that using more divercse and practical assessments methods can provide a more accurate and fair evaluation of students' achievements and potential.
DeletedOriginal textAddedCorrected text

Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument against traditional exams while advocating for alternative assessment methods. Key strengths include a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include addressing spelling and grammatical errors, enhancing coherence through smoother transitions, and providing more thorough development of ideas with specific examples. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving clarity, and ensuring proper subject-verb agreement. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include expanding on the benefits of alternative assessment methods and providing specific examples of their implementation. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother, and some sentences lack clarity. For instance, phrases like 'this factors can prevent students to show them real skills' could be rephrased for better coherence. Using more cohesive devices would enhance the flow of the essay.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors (e.g., 'traditional tests has', 'student taking exam', 'this factors', 'they has') that affect clarity. The use of singular and plural forms is inconsistent, and sentence structures could be more varied. To improve, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and practice using more complex sentence structures.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'toadys', 'usualy', 'knoweledge', 'nerwous', 'comfotable', 'pratical', 'presantations', 'interactiv', 'thier', 'comunication', 'diverce') that detract from the overall quality. While some varied vocabulary is present, the frequent errors limit the effectiveness of the lexical resource. To improve, the writer should proofread for spelling and consider using a wider range of synonyms.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the limitations of traditional 'pen and paper' exams and presenting an alternative view on assessment methods. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, with clearer examples and a more explicit conclusion. To improve, the writer could elaborate on the benefits of alternative assessment methods and provide specific examples of how they can be implemented.
6.0

Related Writing Samples

Part 2
5.0

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

Part 2
6.5

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
8.0

We have become a disposable society, preferring to buy new products rather than fixing existing items. What are the causes of this trend and what are the possible solutions?

Part 2
5.5

The tendency that news reports in media focus on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful for individuals and the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
7.0

Today single-use products are still very common. Why is this? What are the problems associated with this?

Part 2
6.5

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?