Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

Part 2
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In my opinion, social netwaorking sites like fFaceboodk have had bsig badnificant negative effects on people and society. I agree with this view to thea lardge extent. Firstly, thisese sites can be very addictingve and waste a lot of time. Many peoples, especially young, spend hours a individuals, spend hours every day on fFacebook instead of doing importanter thingengaging in more important activities. They are alwaysconstantly checking for new posts and messages, even when they should be studying or spending time with theire familyies. This addiction can lead to bad gradespoor academic performance, problems at work, and neglecting important relashtionships. Secondly, social media has made it eazsy for false informations and rumors to spread quickly. People can post whatever they want without checking if it is true. This has led to a loverifying its accuracy. This has resulted in a significant amount of misinformation and even hate speaech online. It is chardllenging for many people to knowindividuals to discern what to believe, and thiswhich can cause confusion and deivision in society. In conclusion, while social networking sites have some benefits, I believe that overall they have had a negative impact. They can be addictingve and spread false informations, which is bad fordetrimental to individuals and society as a whole. If we want to fix these problemaddress these issues, we need to find ways to use these sites more responsaibly.
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a clear opinion on the negative impact of social networking sites, which is a key strength. The structure is generally appropriate, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there are critical areas for improvement, including the need for more specific examples and better transitions between ideas. The spelling and grammatical errors significantly detract from the overall quality, indicating a need for greater attention to detail. Structural changes made include correcting spelling errors, improving grammatical accuracy, and enhancing the flow of ideas with better transitions. For further improvement, the writer could elaborate on the consequences of addiction and misinformation with concrete examples or statistics to strengthen their argument. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and analytical style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas could be improved with better transitions between sentences and paragraphs. For instance, using cohesive devices like 'Moreover' or 'In addition' could enhance the logical progression of ideas.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a basic command of grammar, but there are numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues and incorrect word forms (e.g., 'this sites' should be 'these sites', 'peoples' should be 'people'). To enhance the score, the writer should aim for greater grammatical accuracy and variety in sentence structures.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'netwarking', 'facebood', 'socity', 'importanter', 'cheking', 'there', 'relashonships', 'eazy', 'mis information', 'hate speach', 'devision', 'responsably') that detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary accurately and checking for spelling mistakes.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear opinion that social networking sites have a negative impact. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and the examples provided could be more specific and detailed. For improvement, the writer could elaborate on the consequences of addiction and misinformation with concrete examples or statistics.
5.5

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