Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Part 2
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In lots of people's lifeves, they are doing work that are not enjoyment or skillness in the job. It is bigis neither enjoyable nor suited to their skills. This is a significant probelem that causes many bad thingnegative effects in their lifeves and society. I will explain why this happens and its effects. First, it is happedns that people don't have the choice to select theire work. They must work to earn money, even if the job is very unpleaseant or hard. For example, my uncle dones not like being a farmer, but he must do it to support our family and does not have other skills to change jobs. Alsodditionally, many people don not know what theire tallents and interests isare when they are young, so they just take any work thatey can find. They get trapped in workjobs and cannot change later. Secondly, the consequences isare very bad for individuals and society. People who hate theire jobs or have no talent, they will be very unhappy every day. They will not do goodperform well at work and maybe get fired, which causes them more problems like no money or home. Also the, such as lack of money or housing. Furthermore, companyies lose money because worker iss are not effective and efficient. If many people like this it can make bigare in this situation, it can have a significant effect on the country's econeomy. In conclusion, iI think this is a very serious issue that governments and schools must try to solve. We must help young people find theire real talents and help them getassist them in obtaining education for jobs they like. Alsoenjoy. Additionally, companies should letallow people to change jobs more easily if they are unhappy. If we don not fix this problem, many people will wasted theire lifves in wrongunsuitable work.
DeletedOriginal textAddedCorrected text

Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons people end up in jobs they dislike and the consequences of this situation. Key strengths include a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, vocabulary range, and the depth of examples provided. The structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving coherence with better transitions, and enhancing clarity in phrasing. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing more specific examples and elaborating on the consequences with clearer connections to the main ideas. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is disrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors, which affect clarity. The use of cohesive devices is minimal, and transitions between ideas could be improved. For instance, using phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' could enhance the logical progression of ideas.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'it is happed', 'dont have choice'). These errors hinder the overall clarity of the writing. While there are some attempts at complex sentences, the frequent mistakes suggest a need for improvement in grammatical accuracy. The writer should focus on practicing sentence structure and verb conjugation.
4.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of incorrect word forms and spelling errors (e.g., 'skillness', 'probelm', 'tallents'). The repetition of phrases like 'work that they hate' could be varied with synonyms or paraphrasing. To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling and word forms.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing why people end up in jobs they dislike and the consequences of this situation. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and the examples provided lack depth. To improve, the writer could include more specific examples and elaborate on the consequences with clearer connections to the main ideas.
5.5

Related Writing Samples

Part 2
5.0

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

Part 2
6.5

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
8.0

We have become a disposable society, preferring to buy new products rather than fixing existing items. What are the causes of this trend and what are the possible solutions?

Part 2
5.5

The tendency that news reports in media focus on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful for individuals and the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
7.0

Today single-use products are still very common. Why is this? What are the problems associated with this?

Part 2
6.5

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?