Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views? It is probably true to say that most people believe that a university degree is the only way to get a good job.

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

iIn my opinion, going to university forto getting a better job is not always a good choice. oOf course, having da degree can open moere doors for finding a job, but experience is also importeant. wWhen you start wrorking after school, you gain real-wrorld skills, and can sohow potential emploeyers what you are capable for. oof. On the one hand, Uuniversity education provides you with knowledge and skills in a speficcific field. iIt can help you stand out forom other candidates when applying for jobs. and mMany professions, such as docteors or engineers, requrire a degree to even be considered for the position. soTherefore, in some cases, havniging a degree is a must for getting a good job. o On the other hand, there is much to be learned from practical ecxperience. wWhen you work after school, you get the chance to aplply what you learen in a real-world setting. You can develop important skills, like teamwork, commuinication, and problem-solvigng. eEmployers often value theese skills just as much, if not more, thean the knowledge gained from a degree. m Moreover, not everyone havs the opportunity or means to attend uiniversity. fFor some poeople, starting work after shchool is the only option. tThat should not mean they cannot get a good job. wWith determination and hard work, anyone can succeed in their chosen career, regrardless of their educational backgoround. i In conclusion, while univrersity education can be valuable for getting a good job, it is not the only path forto success. eExperience and practical skills are also important, and should not be overlooked. at the endUltimately, it is up to the individaual to decide what is best for them, based on their goals and circumstrances.
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a balanced view on the topic of university education versus work experience, effectively addressing both sides of the argument. Key strengths include a clear opinion and a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include spelling and grammatical accuracy, as well as the use of more formal language. The structural changes made involved correcting spelling errors, improving grammatical accuracy, and enhancing coherence with better transitions. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific examples or statistics to strengthen the argument and varying sentence structures for greater complexity. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, but the informal language in the original version detracted from its overall quality.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and a lack of cohesive devices. For example, transitions between points could be smoother. Using linking words such as 'furthermore' or 'in addition' would enhance the coherence of the essay.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'requrie', 'havnig'). While the writer demonstrates some ability to construct sentences, the frequency of errors affects clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'dgree', 'importent', 'wrold', 'speficic') that detract from the overall quality. Additionally, the use of informal language (e.g., 'u' instead of 'you') is not suitable for an academic essay. To improve, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary and ensuring correct spelling.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument regarding university education versus work experience. It presents a clear opinion that while university education is valuable, it is not the only path to success. However, the development of ideas could be improved with more specific examples and a clearer structure. For instance, including statistics or real-life examples of successful individuals without degrees could strengthen the argument.
6.0

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