Many people use distance-learning programs (study material post, TV, Internet, etc.) to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefits of attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In lasrecent years, there ishas been a growth in the number ofor people who study from home useing distance-learning programs. There are peoples who thinks that studying online is not as good as studying at university or college. I amdo not fully agree with this opinion. On one hand. The, distance- learning helps students to study inat flexibilityle times and places. For example, a person can be study after come backreturning from work or ion weekend, s; they do not need to go to university. This waymethod is convienient for working peopleindividuals who want to improve themselfves. In addition, the cost ofor distance- learning is cheaper than go toattending university directly because students do not need to pay for transportation or for living cost. Onexpenses. On the other hand, studying at university bring othoffers adveantages that study online study cannot bringprovide. Firstly, in a classroom, students can ask questions to teachers directly and discuss with classmates, itwhich helps tohem understand the lecture better, but. However, when studying online, if a student haves a question, it takes more time to contact withe teacher. Secondly, goattending to university allows student cans to use facilityies like libraryies or laboratoryies, which can help to study more effectlyenhance their learning experience. Finally, studying at university gives students the chance to meet other students toand make friends, twhisch can improve the ability ofir communication, but skills. In contrast, when studying online, students do not have this chance.opportunity. In Cconclusion, although there are benefits tof study useing through distance-learning programs but I think, I believe that it is not the same as studying directly at university or college. Therefore, I amdo not agree with the opinion presented in the question.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task by discussing both sides of the argument regarding distance learning versus traditional university education. Key strengths include a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more specific examples and a stronger conclusion that reiterates the main points. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving coherence with better transitions, and enhancing clarity through more precise vocabulary. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing more detailed examples to support each argument and varying sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical ability. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is limited, and some sentences lack clarity. For instance, the transition between ideas could be smoother. To enhance coherence, the writer could use linking words more effectively, such as 'furthermore' or 'in contrast,' to connect ideas.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('peoples who thinks') and incorrect verb forms ('can be study'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on using correct grammatical structures and varying sentence types to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical ability.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and awkward phrasing, such as 'the distance-learning help students' and 'this way is convinient.' The writer could improve by using a wider range of vocabulary and ensuring correct word forms. For example, 'convenient' instead of 'convinient' and 'the distance-learning programs help students' would enhance clarity.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both sides of the argument regarding distance learning versus traditional university education. However, the position taken is not fully developed, and the conclusion lacks a strong reiteration of the main points. To improve, the writer could provide more specific examples and elaborate on the benefits of both methods of study.
6.0

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