Many women complete scientific graduate programs, but only few pursue careers in technology or science. Why is this so? What measures could be taken to resolve this problem?

What this means:

The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and a lack of clear transitions between points. For instance, the transition from discussing the culture in science to the lack of role models could be smoother. To enhance coherence, the writer should use more cohesive devices and ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one.

How to improve:

• Use a clear paragraph structure
• Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
• Maintain logical progression
• Use referencing effectively

What this means:

The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures, but there are numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'these place have mostly mens'), incorrect verb forms, and awkward sentence constructions. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors affect the overall clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.

How to improve:

• Use complex sentence structures
• Maintain grammatical accuracy
• Use a variety of sentence patterns
• Check for common grammar errors

What this means:

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'sience', 'tecnology', 'freindly', 'exampl', 'enginere', 'classmats', 'suport', 'discriminasion') that detract from the overall quality. Additionally, there is some repetition of words like 'women' and 'science'. To improve, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling.

How to improve:

• Use a wider range of vocabulary
• Demonstrate awareness of collocations
• Avoid word repetition
• Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately

What this means:

The essay addresses the task by discussing reasons why women do not pursue careers in science and technology and suggests measures to resolve the issue. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and the examples provided could be more specific and detailed. To improve, the writer could elaborate on the measures suggested and provide more concrete examples of successful initiatives.

How to improve:

• Address all parts of the task fully
• Support ideas with specific examples
• Develop each point thoroughly
• Stay relevant to the topic