Many young people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work experience or to travel. The experience of non-academic life this offers benefits the individual when they return to education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

I strongly agree that taking a gap year is very beneficial for students before they start university studies. This practice helps young people to getain valuable experience and become more mature before continuing their education. In this essay, I will explain my opinion abouton this topic. First of all, when students work during a gap year, they learn many important things about real life. In my country, lots of students never worked before university, so they don't understand how difficult it is to earn money. I had a friend who worked in a restaurant for one year after school, and he told me that this experience helped him to appreciate education more better. Alsouch more. Additionally, when young people work, they develop responsibility and time management skills, which are very useful for university life. Another benefit is that travelling during a gap year makes students more independent and open-minded. When I finished school, my cousin went to Australia for 6six months, and she changed so muchignificantly. She became a more confident person and learned to solve problems by herself. I thinkbelieve that travelling teaches us things we cannot learn from books, likesuch as understanding different cultures and dealing with unexpected situations. Moreover, a gap year gives young people time to think carefully about their future careers. Many students choose university courses without really knowing what they want, but after working or travelling, they understand their interests more clearly. This means they make better decisions about their studies and are more motivated when they start university. In conclusion, I believe a gap year is a very good opportunity for personal growth and development before university. The experiences students gain from working or travelling helps them to become more mature and prepared for higher education. Therefore, I completely support the idea that non-academic experiences benefit students when they return to their studies.
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a clear argument in favour of taking a gap year, effectively addressing the prompt and providing relevant points. Key strengths include a well-defined position and logical structure, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, as several errors detract from clarity, and the need for more varied vocabulary to avoid repetition. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, enhancing transitions, and refining vocabulary for clarity and variety. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include incorporating specific examples to strengthen arguments and exploring counterarguments to provide a more balanced view. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph presents a distinct point, but the transitions between some ideas could be smoother. For instance, using more varied cohesive devices could enhance the overall coherence.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as 'more better' and 'careful' instead of 'carefully.' These errors affect the overall clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate and conveys the intended meaning. However, there are instances of repetition, such as 'gap year' and 'students.' To improve, the writer could incorporate synonyms or more varied expressions to demonstrate a wider lexical range.
7.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, presenting a clear position in favor of taking a gap year and developing relevant arguments. However, it could benefit from more specific examples and a deeper exploration of counterarguments to strengthen the overall argument.
7.5

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