More and more people are leaving the countryside and going to cities nowadays. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

It is a clear trend that people are moving from rural areaes to urban cities more and more in present day. There are both benefits and drawbacks to this developments. I will analyse some of thisese factors in the faollowing paragraphs. One of the main advantagges of people gomigrating into cities is betterenhanced access andto job opportunity for jobies. In cities, there are muchany more workjobs available compared to villages and rural areas. Many biglarge companyies and factoryies are located in citiesurban areas, which means therey hire manynumerous workers. Alsodditionally, there are more options for studying and gaining qualifications for jobs thruough colleges and universities located in cities. On the other hand, the countryside haves limited career choices, mostly in agricultueral jobs. However, living cost in cities is very highthe high cost of living in cities is a significant disadvantageg. Prices for housing, food, transportation, etc., in cities are usually verymuch more expensive compared to rural placezs. For instansce, rent for an apartment in a big citiezy can be many times higher than that of a villeage house. Another negative aspect is pollution in cityies due to lotsthe large number of vehicles and factoryies, which is unhealthy for peoples living their. re. In short, I believe that while urban migration haves positives lieke job and education opportunities, the high costs and pollution are major negatives. In my view, the government should work on developing rural areas more so that peoples can find jobs there and do not need to go to citiezs. This will help balance the population between rural and urban populationareas and redusce strain on city resources.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of urban migration. Key strengths include a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more depth in analysis and specific examples to support claims. The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but spelling errors and limited lexical variety detract from the overall quality. Grammatical errors also affect clarity, particularly in subject-verb agreement and sentence structure. Structural changes made include correcting spelling errors, improving grammatical accuracy, and enhancing coherence with better transitions. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing specific examples or statistics to support points and using more varied vocabulary to enhance lexical resource. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and analytical style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is somewhat disjointed, and the use of cohesive devices is limited. For instance, transitions between points could be smoother. To enhance coherence, the writer could use linking phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' to connect ideas more effectively.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures, but there are numerous errors in grammar and sentence construction (e.g., 'there hire many worker', 'countryside have limit career choice'). These mistakes affect clarity and accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and sentence structure. For instance, 'the countryside has limited career choices' would be more accurate.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'areae', 'drawback', 'advantagges', 'expensiv', 'villege') that detract from the overall quality. The writer does use some relevant terms related to the topic, but to improve, they should aim for more varied and sophisticated vocabulary. For example, instead of 'better access and opportunity for job', they could say 'enhanced employment prospects'.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of urban migration. However, it lacks depth in analysis and examples, which are essential for a higher score. To improve, the writer could provide specific examples or statistics to support their points, such as mentioning particular cities or industries that attract migrants.
5.5

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