More and more people are now working remotely from home. Is this a positive or negative development?

Part 2
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In today's world, the number of people who work remotely from their home ares is increasing. There are arguments on both sides of this development. In my opinion, I thinkbelieve that working remotely is a more positive than negative trend. There are several reasons why I believe thishold this view, which I will explore in the following essay. First of all, working remotely means that there is not need to commute to work every day. This saves time and money for employees, as they do not have to spend hours traveling to and from the office each day. Additionally, it can help to reduce traffic congestiong and pollution in cities, as fewer people will be using cars or public transport to go to work. This can have a positive impact on the environment and people's health. Secondly, many people find that they isare more productive when they work from home. This is because there are lessfewer distractions, such as colleagues talking or interrupting them. People can create their own schedules and work at times when isthat are best for them. They can also take breaks whenever is needed, without worrying about being seen by their boss. All this can lead to higher productivity and better quality of work output. However, there isare also some negatives aspects to working remotely. For example, some people may struggle with motivating themselves and staying focused when they are at home. They may be tempted to do house chores or watch television instead of working. Additionally, there can be a lack of social interaction and a feeling of isolation, as people don't have the chance to talk with their colleagues face-to-face every day. In conclusion, while there are some downsides to working remotely, I believe that overall it is a positive development. The benefits in terms of flexibility, productivity, and environmental impact outweigh the potential negatives, in my opinion. As more companies adopt remote working policies, it is likely that this trend will only continue into the future.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of remote work, presenting a clear opinion that leans towards the positive. Key strengths include a logical structure and a clear opinion. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more specific examples to support claims, smoother transitions between points, and a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving coherence with better linking phrases, and enhancing clarity in some sentences. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific studies or statistics to strengthen arguments and varying sentence structures to demonstrate grammatical flexibility. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, some transitions between points could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing productivity to the negatives of remote work could benefit from a clearer linking phrase. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive, which affects the overall fluency.
6.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('there is not need,' 'they is more productive'), and incorrect article usage ('a positive impact'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. A wider range of sentence structures could also be employed to demonstrate grammatical flexibility.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, but there are instances of repetition, such as 'working remotely' and 'people.' More varied vocabulary could enhance the essay. Additionally, some phrases are awkwardly constructed, such as 'there is not need' instead of 'there is no need.' Using synonyms and more sophisticated expressions would improve the lexical range.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of remote work, presenting a clear opinion that leans towards the positive. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, with more specific examples to support the claims made. For instance, citing studies or statistics on productivity or environmental impact would strengthen the argument.
7.0

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