More and more qualified people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine. Some people believe that by encouraging the movement of such people, rich countries are stealing from poor countries. Others feel that this is only part of the natural movement of workers around the world. Do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In recent years, there has been an increase in the number of qualified people that are moving from poorer countries to richer countries forto fill job vacancies in specialist fields such as engineering, computing, and medicine. There are sSome people who believe this is a form of theft by rich countries, who are stealing valuable human resources from poor countries. On the other hand, others argue that it is simply a natural part of the global movement of workers. I believe that while there are negative impacts on poorer countries, overall this trend is inevitable and can also bring some benefits. One of the main reasons that qualified people move to rich countries is for better job opportunities and higher salaries. In many poor countrienations, even highly educated and skilled professionals may struggle to find good employment and earn a decent living. Rich countries, on the other hand, often have a high demand for workers in specialist fields and can offer much more attractive salaries and benefits. For individual workers, the opportunity to earn more money and advance their careers is a powerful motivator to movrelocate. However, the loss of these skilled professionals can have a negative impact on poorer countries. When large numbers of doctors, engineers, and other highly trained workers leave, it can create a "brain drain" effect that deprives these countries of valuable human capital. This can make it more difficult for poor countries to develop and compete in the global economy. It can also lead to shortages of important services, such as healthcare, if there are not enough qualified professionals left to meet the needs of the population. Despite these negative effects, I believe that the movement of workers is natural and inevitable in an interconnected global economy. As transportation and communication technologies continue to improve, it becomes easier for people to move between countries for work. Trying to prevent this would likely be futile and could even harm global economic growth. Furthermore, there are also potential benefits for poorer countries. Remittances sent back by workers abroad can provide an important source of income and help to reduce poverty. Some workers may also return to their home countries with new skills and knowledge that can contribute to development. In conclusion, while the migration of skilled professionals from poor to rich countries can have negative impacts, I believe it is ultimately a natural and unavoidable phenomenon. Poorer countries may experience some "brain drain"," but this is outweighed by the benefits of remittances and skills transfer. Overall, the movement of workers is a necessary part of a globalized economy and brings benefits that are shared by both rich and poor countrienations.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt, presenting a clear position that acknowledges both sides of the argument. Key strengths include a logical progression of ideas and relevant examples, such as 'brain drain' and remittances. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, as several errors were present, and the need for more varied vocabulary to avoid repetition. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, enhancing clarity, and improving transitions between ideas. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific examples or data to strengthen arguments and varying the vocabulary further to enhance lexical resource. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical progression of ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, and there are appropriate cohesive devices used to link ideas. However, some transitions could be smoother, and the introduction could more clearly outline the structure of the essay.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as 'there has been increase' (should be 'there has been an increase') and 'for fill job vacancies' (should be 'to fill job vacancies'). These errors affect clarity and accuracy. More complex sentence structures could also be employed to enhance the overall grammatical range.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, with some sophisticated terms such as 'brain drain' and 'human capital.' However, there are instances of repetition, such as the word 'countries,' which could be varied with synonyms. Additionally, there are minor spelling errors, such as 'indivdual' instead of 'individual,' which detract from the overall lexical quality.
7.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, presenting a clear position that acknowledges both sides of the argument. It develops main ideas with relevant examples, such as the concept of 'brain drain' and the benefits of remittances. However, the argument could be strengthened with more specific examples or data to support the claims made.
7.5

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