More and more students are choosing to study abroad for their tertiary education. Do you think the advantages of studying in a foreign country outweigh the disadvantages?

Part 1 (Academic)
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, many students have the opportunity to study in another country. There are some benefits of gettpursuing higher studieseducation abroad,; however, I think that this also haves some negative poinaspects attached to it. The main advantage of studying in thea foreign country is that students can getreceive a higher quality of education. For example, universities in developed countries have much better equipment and teachers who hasve more experience than most universities in less developed countries'. Furthermore, living and studying in another country can help students learn new languages, make the friends with students from all over the world, and broaden their horizons. Thoese are invaluable experiences that cannot be gained by just studying at home. On the other hand, the most significant disadvantage of going abroad for tertiary education is the high costs. Tuition fees at international universities' is are often much higher than local ones, n. Not only that, students must pay for expensive living costs, such as accommodation, food, and transportation. On top of thatAdditionally, cultural shock, which the students must adapt to i, presents another challenges. Some students find it difficult to adjust to the new environment due to languages barriers and, in some cases, discrimination. This issue may lead to poor academic results or dropping out altogether. In conclusion, while studying abroad certainly haves some clear advantages, I believe the disadvantages are eaqually significants. Therefore, students who want to pursuite tertiary education overboardseas should carefully consider thoese negative points carefullyaspects before making their decision.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad, which is a key strength. The structure is logical, with clear paragraphs, but the flow of ideas could be improved with better transitions and a wider range of cohesive devices. Critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and pluralization, as well as enhancing vocabulary variety to avoid repetition. The conclusion could also be strengthened by providing a more robust rationale for the stated disadvantages. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving transitions, and refining vocabulary. For further improvement, the writer could elaborate on specific disadvantages with examples and enhance the overall coherence by using varied linking words. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some transitions between points are abrupt, and the use of cohesive devices is limited. For instance, phrases like 'on the other hand' are used, but more varied linking words could enhance the overall coherence. To improve, the writer should focus on using a wider range of cohesive devices to connect ideas more smoothly.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several errors that affect clarity, such as 'this also have' (should be 'this also has') and 'students can get higher quality education' (should be 'students can receive a higher quality of education'). Additionally, there are issues with subject-verb agreement and pluralization. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and ensuring subject-verb agreement.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, with some good expressions such as 'broaden their horizons' and 'cultural shock.' However, there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'students' and 'country') and some awkward phrases (e.g., 'make the friends'). To enhance the score, the writer should aim for more varied vocabulary and avoid redundancy.
6.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad. However, the argument could be more developed, particularly in the conclusion, where the writer states that disadvantages are equally significant without providing a strong rationale. To improve, the writer could elaborate on specific disadvantages and provide more examples to support their viewpoint.
6.5

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