Most of the world's problems are caused by overpopulation. Do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

I am agree that most problems in the world are caused by overpopulation. There are many reasons for this opinion. Firstly, when there isare too muchany people, there isare not enough resources for everyone. For example, food and water become scarce when the population grows too fast. This leads to hunger and thirst for many peoples, especially in poor country. Alsoies. Additionally, housing becomes expensive and crowded, which causes many to live in slums or on the street. s. Secondly, overpopulation causes environmental damage. With more peoples, there is more pollution and waste. Forests are cut down for housing and farming, which destroys the habitats of many animals. Pollution from factories and cars increases, which contributeing to global warming and climate changes. These environmental problems affect everyone in the world, not just overpopulated area. s. In conclusion, I strongly agree that overpopulation is the main cause of most world problems today. It leads to a lack of resources, poverty, and environmental damages. Governments need to take steps to control population growth, such as through education and family planning. Only then can we hope to solve these pressing global issues.
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a clear position on the issue of overpopulation and its impact on global problems, which is a key strength. The structure is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, there are critical areas for improvement, particularly in grammatical accuracy and lexical resource. The original essay contained several grammatical errors and inaccuracies in vocabulary usage, which have been addressed in the corrected version. Transition phrases have been added to improve coherence between ideas. Further improvements could include providing specific statistics or examples to support the claims made, which would enhance the depth of the argument. Additionally, varying sentence structures and expanding vocabulary could further improve the overall quality of the writing. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the transitions between ideas could be improved for better flow. For example, using cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' could help link ideas more effectively. Some sentences feel abrupt and could be better connected to enhance overall coherence.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('I am agree' should be 'I agree') and incorrect plural forms ('many peoples' should be 'many people'). While the overall meaning is clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on using correct grammatical structures and varying sentence types.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and inaccuracies, such as 'too much people' instead of 'too many people' and 'many peoples' instead of 'many people.' Additionally, phrases like 'environmental damages' could be more accurately expressed as 'environmental damage.' Expanding the range of vocabulary and using more precise terms would improve this score.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position that overpopulation is a significant cause of many global problems. However, it lacks depth in developing some ideas and could benefit from more specific examples or data to strengthen the argument. For instance, discussing specific statistics on resource scarcity or environmental impact would enhance the response.
6.0

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