Most people do not care enough about environmental issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

I agree that most people does not care enough about environmental issues. This is because they have other priorityies in life, such likeas work and family. They think that the environment is not their responsibility and that the government or organizations should take care of it. First, people are busy with their own lives and they do not have time to think about the environment. They have to work long hours to earn money for their families and pay for theire expenses. After work, they want to relax and spend time with their loved ones, notrather than worrying about the pressing issues of pollution or climate change. They thinkbelieve that environmental issues are too big and complex for them to solve, so they leave it to others. Second, many people believe that protecting the environment is the job of governments and environmental organizations, not individuals. They think that these groups have the resources and expertise to address environmental problems effectively. For example, governments can pass laws and regulations to limit pollution and promote clean energy, while organizations can educate the public and advocate for change. People feel that their individual actions, such as recycling or using public transportation, will not make a significant difference in the grand scheme of things. In conclusion, I agree that most people do not care enough about environmental issues because they prioritize other aspects of their lives and believe that addressing these problems is the responsibility of larger entities. However, I believe that everyone has a role to play in protecting our planet, and that even small changes in our daily habits can add up to make a big difference. We all need to take responsibility for our impact on the environment and work together to create a more sustainable future.
DeletedOriginal textAddedCorrected text

Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a clear argument regarding the lack of concern for environmental issues among most people. Key strengths include a logical structure and relevant reasons supporting the main argument. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the development of ideas with more specific examples and a deeper exploration of the implications of neglecting environmental issues. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving subject-verb agreement, and refining vocabulary for clarity and sophistication. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more varied linking phrases for smoother transitions and providing specific examples of the consequences of neglecting environmental issues. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical progression of ideas. However, some transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother. For example, the use of cohesive devices such as 'first' and 'second' is effective, but the overall flow could be improved by varying the linking phrases and ensuring that each paragraph clearly connects to the main argument. Additionally, the conclusion could more explicitly summarize the main points made in the essay.
6.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity, such as 'most people does not care' instead of 'most people do not care' and 'these group' instead of 'these groups.' While the meaning is generally clear, the presence of these errors detracts from the overall quality of the writing. To improve, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and pluralization.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and some inaccuracies, such as 'environment issues' instead of 'environmental issues' and 'there expenses' instead of 'their expenses.' The essay could benefit from a wider range of vocabulary and more sophisticated expressions. For example, instead of 'not worrying about pollution or climate change,' the writer could use 'neglecting the pressing issues of pollution and climate change.'
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by clearly stating the writer's agreement with the statement that most people do not care enough about environmental issues. It presents relevant reasons and examples to support this position. However, the development of ideas could be enhanced with more specific examples and a deeper exploration of the implications of this lack of care. For instance, discussing the consequences of neglecting environmental issues could strengthen the argument.
7.0

Related Writing Samples

Part 2
5.0

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

Part 2
6.5

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
8.0

We have become a disposable society, preferring to buy new products rather than fixing existing items. What are the causes of this trend and what are the possible solutions?

Part 2
5.5

The tendency that news reports in media focus on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful for individuals and the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
7.0

Today single-use products are still very common. Why is this? What are the problems associated with this?

Part 2
6.5

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?