Most people do not care enough about environmental issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Part 1 (Academic)
7.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

I strongly agree with the statement that most individuals nowadays do not show sufficient concern about environmental problems. In this essay, I will explain my views on this important topic and provide examples from my personal experience. First of all, when I look around in my daily life, I see many peopleindividuals who continue doing things that harm our environment. For example, in my university, students alwaysconsistently buy plastic bottles even though we have water stations everywhere in the building. They sayclaim it is more convenient, but I think they don't understand how plastic is affecting our planet. Alsodditionally, many of my friends drive cars for short distances when they could easily walk or use a bicycle. Furthermore, I notice that a lot of people know aboutindividuals are aware of climate change and pollution, but they don't make any real changes in their lifestyle. LikeFor instance, in my neighborhood, people keep their air conditioning on all day during summer, and they never think about saving energy. Sometimes I try telling them about saconserving electricity, but they just say one person cannot make a big difference. This kind of thinking showillustrates how people understand the problems but don't care enough to take action. However, I must say that the younger generation is starting to care more about these issues. In my school, we have an environmental club where students organize activities to clean parks and teacheducate others about recycling. But stillNevertheless, when I compare this small group with the total number of students, it makes me sad because only a few people join these activities. In conclusion, based on what I observe in my daily life, I strongly believe that the majority of people are not taking environmental issues seriously enough. While there are some positive changes happening, especially among young people, we need muchany more peopleindividuals to start caring about our planet's future. If we don't change our attitude soon, I worry that it might be too late to fix these problems.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt, presenting a clear position that most people do not care enough about environmental issues. Key strengths include relevant examples and personal experiences that support the argument. However, critical areas for improvement include a more balanced view by acknowledging counterarguments and enhancing the variety of cohesive devices for smoother transitions. Structural changes made include correcting minor grammatical errors, improving phrasing for clarity, and ensuring proper paragraph structure. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating synonyms to reduce repetition and providing a more in-depth discussion of counterarguments. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph presents a distinct point, and there are some cohesive devices used to link ideas. However, transitions between some points could be smoother, and the use of cohesive devices could be more varied to improve the overall fluency of the writing.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, with mostly accurate usage. There are minor errors, such as 'lot of people' instead of 'a lot of people' and some awkward phrasing, but these do not significantly impede understanding. To achieve a higher score, the writer should focus on refining sentence structures and ensuring grammatical accuracy throughout.
7.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with some effective expressions such as 'sufficient concern' and 'real changes in their lifestyle.' However, there are instances of repetition, such as the frequent use of 'people' and 'environment.' To improve, the writer could incorporate synonyms or more specific terms to enhance lexical variety.
7.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, presenting a clear position that most people do not care enough about environmental issues. The writer provides relevant examples and personal experiences to support their argument. However, the essay could benefit from a more balanced view by acknowledging counterarguments in greater depth, which would enhance the overall discussion.
7.5

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