"Mothers play key roles in the upbringing of children. But in recent times both parents are getting busy with professional life. Who in your opinion should take the responsibility of child care now?" Give your opinion in no less than 250 words.

Part 2
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In recent times, the responsibility of bringing up children has become a bsignificant question. In the past, mothers were usually responsible for takeing care of children and their upbringing. However, now both the parents are getting busy with their professional lifves and careers. In my opinion, I think both theboth parents should take equal responsblty ofibility for child care. Firstly, in modern times, both the parents are working and earning for the family. They both are equally responsible for the financial needs of the family. Therefore, they should also take equal responsblty ofibility for taking care of children. It is not fair to putlace all the burden on one parent, especially the mother. Both parents should share the duties of child care, such as feeding, bathing, playing with children, and helping with their homework. Secondly, children need love and attention from both the parents. They need to feel that both their parents love them equally and are always there for them. If only one parent is taking care of them all the time, they may feel neglected by the other parent. This can affect their emotional development and relationship with that parent. Therefore, it is important that both parents spend quality time with their children and take an active role in their upbringing. Lastly, taking care of children is a full-time job and can be very tiring and stressful. If only one parent is doing it all the time, they may getbecome exhausted and frustrated. This can lead to a negative impact on their own health and well-being, as well as on their relationship with the children. By sharing the responsibilities, both parents can support each other and reduce the stress and burden of child care. In conclusion, I strongly believe that both parents should take equal responsibility ofor child care in today's timesworld. It is important for the well-being of both the parents and the children. Both parents should work together as a team to provide love, care, and attention to their children and ensure their proper upbringing.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly stating the opinion that both parents should share child care responsibilities. Key strengths include a logical progression of ideas and relevant arguments supporting the viewpoint. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the development of ideas with specific examples and improving the use of cohesive devices for smoother transitions. Structural changes made include correcting spelling errors, improving grammatical accuracy, and refining the flow of ideas. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating a wider range of vocabulary and providing more specific examples to strengthen arguments. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical progression of ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point, contributing to the overall argument. However, the use of cohesive devices could be improved; for instance, transitions between some ideas could be smoother to enhance the flow of the essay.
6.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'are gettin busy', 'take care', 'is doing it all the time'). While these errors do not significantly impede understanding, they do affect the overall accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical correctness.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'responsibility' and 'parents'). Additionally, there are some spelling errors ('responsbility', 'usully', 'upringing', 'gettin', 'lifes', 'responsblty', 'homwork') that detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by clearly stating the opinion that both parents should share child care responsibilities. It presents relevant arguments and examples to support this viewpoint. However, the development of ideas could be enhanced with more specific examples or evidence to strengthen the argument further.
7.0

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