New technologies and ways of buying and selling are transforming the lives of consumers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Part 2
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In modern times, new technologies have a big impact on consumers' lifeves. I agree with theis opinion to a large extent. This essay will discuss how technologies are changing consumers in terms of buypurchasing products and their daily life.ves. First of all, with the internet and online shopping, it is much easier for consumers to buypurchase the products they need. In the past, if someone wanted to buy something, they needed to go to a physical store, which may behave been far away. But now, with just a few clicks on a computer or phone, people can buyacquire anything they want and gethave it delivered to their homes. This saves a lot of time and effort for consumers. Moreover, new technologies are also changing the way people live their daily lifeves. For example, with smartphones and apps, people can do many things like ordering food, booking taxis, paying bills, and even controlling home appliances. This makes life much more convenient and efficient for consumers. They don't need to waste time on small tasks and can focus on more important things. In conclusion, I strongly agree that new technologies are transforming consumers' lifeves in significant ways. ItThey make buypurchasing products and managing daily tasks much easier and faster. This is a positive development as it improves the quality of life for many people.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates several strengths, including a clear opinion and a logical structure that addresses the prompt effectively. The main points are relevant and support the argument well. However, there are critical areas for improvement. The essay could benefit from more specific examples and a deeper exploration of the implications of technological changes, such as potential drawbacks. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices could be enhanced to improve the flow of ideas, and there is a need for greater lexical variety to avoid repetition. Grammatical accuracy also requires attention, as several errors detract from clarity. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, adding necessary verbs, and improving the overall coherence of the essay. Transition phrases were slightly varied to enhance fluency. For further improvements, the writer could incorporate counterarguments or discuss the negative aspects of technology in consumerism to provide a more balanced view. Expanding the vocabulary range and using more complex sentence structures would also enhance the overall quality of the writing. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices could be improved. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be more varied to enhance the overall fluency. Phrases like 'first of all' and 'moreover' are effective, but additional linking words could strengthen the connections between ideas.
6.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For instance, 'technologies changing' should be 'technologies are changing,' and 'this save' should be 'this saves.' Improving grammatical accuracy and using more complex sentence structures would enhance the overall quality of the writing.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, but there are instances of repetition, such as 'consumers' and 'buying.' The essay could benefit from a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'buy,' alternatives like 'purchase' or 'acquire' could enhance lexical variety.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by expressing a clear opinion and discussing how new technologies impact consumers' buying habits and daily lives. However, it could benefit from more specific examples and a deeper exploration of the implications of these changes. For instance, discussing potential drawbacks of technology in consumerism could provide a more balanced view.
7.0

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