News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspapers. What factors do you think influence these decisions?

Part 1 (Academic)
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In today's world, news editors have a big responsibiltity to decide which news will be broadcast on TV or printed in a newspaper. There are many influences that can affect this decision-making process, including public interest, political pressure, and also financial considaeration. s. Firstly, public interest is the most important factor for deciding news content. News editors must think carefully about what kind of information peoples want to know and what stories will be most relevant to their lifves. For example, if there is a major natural disaster or political scandal, the public will expect to see this news on TV and in newspapers. News editors have to be aware of current events and understand what is important to the audience. Another factor is political pressure. In some country,ies, the government may try to control news media and dictate what kind of stories are allowed to be published. News editors may face pressure to avoid certain topics or present news in a way that favours the ruling party. This can be a challenge for maintaining journalistic integrity and providing balanced coverage of events. Finally, financial considaerations can also play a role in news editors' decisions. Running a news organization is expensive, and editors may need to prioritizse stories that will attract more viewers or readers in order to generate advertiseing revenue. This can sometimes lead to sensationalism or a focus on entertainment news rather than serious journalism. In conclusion, news editors have a complex job that involves balanceing many different factors when decideing what to broadcast or print. While public interest should be the top priority, political pressure and financial realities can also have a significant influence on news content. It is important for news editors to strive for objectivity and integreity in their decision-making process.
DeletedOriginal textAddedCorrected text

Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing various factors influencing news editors' decisions, such as public interest, political pressure, and financial considerations. Key strengths include a clear identification of these factors and a logical progression of ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include addressing spelling and grammatical errors, enhancing coherence through smoother transitions, and providing more specific examples to deepen the analysis. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving spelling, and enhancing the clarity of the introduction and conclusion. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more varied vocabulary and additional examples to illustrate points. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay presents ideas in a logical order, but the transitions between points could be smoother. Some sentences feel abrupt, and the use of cohesive devices is limited. For example, using phrases like 'In addition' or 'Furthermore' could help to better connect the ideas. A clearer introduction and conclusion would also improve the overall coherence.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures, but there are numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'news editor have' should be 'news editors have') and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'this can be challenge for maintain journalistic integrity'). To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'responsibiltiy', 'influence', 'politcal', 'consideration', 'intrest', 'carefuly', 'lifes', 'allow', 'advertise', 'objectvity', 'integrety') that detract from the overall quality. Additionally, the use of more varied and sophisticated vocabulary would enhance the essay. For example, instead of 'financial considerations', terms like 'economic factors' could be used.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing various factors that influence news editors' decisions, such as public interest, political pressure, and financial considerations. However, the response could be improved by providing more specific examples and a clearer structure. For instance, elaborating on how political pressure manifests in different countries would enhance the depth of the analysis.
6.0

Related Writing Samples

Part 1 (Academic)
8.0

You eat at your college cafeteria every lunch time. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter, explain what you like about the cafeteria say what is wrong with it suggest how it could be improved

Part 1 (Academic)
6.5

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

The pie charts show the destination of export goods in three countries in 2010.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

"Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies."