Nowadays, many people change jobs quite regularly, rather than working in the company for their entire careers. Why do you think this is happening? How can companies keep their workers?

Part 2
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Recently, it has become increasedingly common for individuals to switch employments more frequently, as opposed to remaining at one organization throughout their career. There are several reasons why this trends is occurring, and companies need to take steps to retain their employees. One of the main reasons why people choose to changinge jobs more oftern nowadays is due to the desire for career growth and higher salaries. With the rapid pace of technological advancements and globalization, many industries are evolveing quickly, and workers may feel that they need to move on to new opportunities in order to keep up with the latest skills and trends. Additionally, in today's competititve job market, employees are often able to secure better pay and benefits by switching to a new company, rather than waiting for promotions or salary increases at their current workplace. A Furthermore, another factor contributing to job-hopping is the changing nature of work itself. With the rise of the gig economiy and freelance work, many people are opting for more flexible and short-term employment arreangements. This allows them to take on a variety of projects and gain diverse experiences, rather than being tied down to one company long-term. To keep their workers, companies need to foccus on creating a positive and supportive work environment that values employee growth and development. This can include offering competitive salaries and benefits packages, as well as opportunities for training and career adveancement within the organization. Companies should also strive to foster a strong sense of community and belonging among their employees, through team-building activities, recognition programs, and open coommunication. By investing in their workers and showing that they are valued and appreciated, companies can increase employee loyalty and reduce turnover. In conclusion, the trend of people changing jobs more frequently is a result of several factors, including the desire for career growth, higher salaries, and more flexible work arrangements. To retain their workers, companies need to create a supportive and engaging work environment that values and invests in their employees. By doing so, they can build a loyal and committed workforce that will help drive the organization's success in the long- term.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt, discussing reasons for job changes and suggesting ways for companies to retain employees, which is a key strength. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, with specific examples or statistics to support the arguments. The coherence and cohesion of the essay are generally good, but transitions between some sentences and paragraphs could be improved for smoother flow. The vocabulary used is appropriate, but there were instances of repetition and misused words that needed correction. The grammatical range and accuracy were hindered by several errors, including subject-verb agreement and spelling mistakes. In the corrected version, I focused on improving grammatical accuracy, enhancing vocabulary, and adding transitional phrases to improve coherence. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include incorporating specific examples or statistics to strengthen the arguments and varying sentence structures to demonstrate grammatical range. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, some transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother. For example, using cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' or 'Moreover' could improve the connection between ideas. Additionally, the conclusion could better summarize the main points to reinforce the overall argument.
6.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('this trends is occuring'), incorrect verb forms ('to changing jobs'), and spelling mistakes ('ther' instead of 'their', 'arrengements' instead of 'arrangements'). While the overall meaning is clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should proofread for accuracy and vary sentence structures to demonstrate grammatical range.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, but there are instances of repetition and some misused words, such as 'increased common' instead of 'increasingly common' and 'foccus' instead of 'focus'. To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions, such as 'job mobility' or 'employee retention strategies'.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, discussing reasons for job changes and suggesting ways for companies to retain employees. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, with more specific examples to support the arguments. For instance, mentioning specific industries affected by job-hopping or providing statistics could enhance the response.
7.0

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