"Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation." Discuss this statement, including the possible reasons for this, and whether you think this is a positive or negative development.

Part 1 (Academic)
7.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In the recent years, there haves been a growing trend of people choosing to work for themselves instead of being employed by a company or organization. I think there are several reasons why this is happening, and overall it can be seen as a positive development, although there are also some potential drawbacks. One of the main reasons why people chooses to be self-employed is becausethat they want to have more control over their work and their schedules. When you are self-employed, you are your own boss and you can decide when and how you want to work. This can be especially appealing for peopleindividuals who have family obligations or other commitments that make it difficult for them to work a traditional 9-to-5 job. Additionally, being self-employed can often lead to a better work-life balance, as you are not tied to a set schedule or location. Another reason why people may choose the self-employment is becausethat they have a specific skill or talent that they want to turn into a business. For example, someone who is good atexcels in graphic design or web development may decide to start their own freelance business rather than working for a company. This can be a great way to turn a passion into a career and to have more control over the types of projects youthey work on. However, there are also some potential drawbacks to being self-employed. One of the biggest challenges is that youindividuals are responsible for generating youtheir own income, which can be stressful and uncertain at times. YouThey also have to handle all of the administrative tasks associated with running a business, such as invoicing, taxes, and marketing. This can be time-consuming and may require skills that youthey do not have. Overallpossess. In summary, I believe that the trend towards self-employment is a positive development. It gives people more flexibility and control over their work and can lead to greater job satisfaction. However, it is important for anyone considering self-employment to carefully weigh the pros and cons and to have a plan in place for how they will generate income and manage their business.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons for the trend towards self-employment and presenting a balanced view of its positive and negative aspects. Key strengths include a clear structure with distinct paragraphs and appropriate vocabulary. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing transitions between ideas and correcting grammatical errors. Structural changes made include refining the introduction for clarity, improving transitions, and adding a summary paragraph to reinforce the main points. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include varying vocabulary further to avoid repetition and ensuring all grammatical errors are corrected. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and analytical style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with clear paragraphs that each focus on a specific aspect of the topic. However, the transitions between some ideas could be smoother. For example, using more cohesive devices to link the reasons for self-employment to the drawbacks would enhance the flow.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, but there are some errors, such as 'people chooses' instead of 'people choose' and 'the self-employment' instead of 'self-employment'. These errors slightly detract from the overall clarity, but they do not significantly impede understanding.
7.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with terms like 'self-employed', 'work-life balance', and 'administrative tasks'. However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'self-employed' and 'work', which could be replaced with synonyms or rephrased to demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary.
7.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing reasons for the trend towards self-employment and presents a balanced view of its positive and negative aspects. However, it could benefit from a more explicit conclusion that summarizes the main points and reinforces the writer's opinion.
7.5

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