Nowadays many students have the opportunity to study for part or all of their courses in foreign countries. While studying abroad brings many benefits to individual students, it also has a number of disadvantages. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad, presenting a clear position. Key strengths include a logical structure and a clear argument. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more specific examples to support claims, enhanced coherence through better transitions, and a reduction in spelling and grammatical errors. Structural changes made include correcting spelling mistakes, improving sentence clarity, and ensuring proper subject-verb agreement. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more varied vocabulary and providing concrete examples of cultural exchange. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The essay has a logical structure, but the flow of ideas could be enhanced. Some sentences lack clear connections, making it harder for the reader to follow the argument. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'on the other hand' or 'in addition,' would improve the overall coherence. For example, transitioning more smoothly between the benefits and disadvantages would strengthen the essay.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The essay demonstrates some grammatical range, but there are numerous errors in verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure (e.g., 'it is also have some disadventage,' 'student are force to practice'). These errors affect clarity and accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical mistakes and varying sentence structures to demonstrate a higher level of grammatical proficiency.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'adventage,' 'dificulty,' 'studing') and repetitive phrases (e.g., 'study abroad,' 'students'). To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling. Incorporating synonyms or more sophisticated terms could enhance the lexical resource score.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The essay addresses the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad, presenting a clear position. However, the development of ideas could be improved with more specific examples and a clearer structure. For instance, the author could elaborate on the benefits of cultural exchange with concrete examples from personal experience or well-known cases.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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