Nowadays more tasks at home and work are being performed by robots. Why do you think this is happening? Is it a positive or negative development?

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In the nowadays, robotics are doing more and more work for us both at home and at work. I thinks this change is happening for a few main reasons. FThe first is because thethat technology is becoming more advanced every years. The robots can now doing many tasks which wasere previously only possiblye for humans to do it. S. The second reason why is becauseis that people are wanting more convenience and to savinge their time. Having robots do jobs for us frees up time for doing other things like relaxing or spending time with family. I beliefve this development is mostly a positive thing. Robots can help us in so many ways. At home, cleaning robots can keeping our house clean without us needing to spend hours mopping and vacuuming the floor. AtIn factories and offices, robots can doperform repetitive tasks more efficiently and quicker thean human workers. This boost thes productivity and allows businesses to makinge more profit. The robots also don’t get tired or need breaks like people do, so they can work 24/7 without stopping. On the other hand, there isare also some negatives of having too much automation. One concern is that it will leading to job losses, as the robots replacinge human workers. This can be a big problem if many peoples lose their jobs and can’t find other work. We need to make ensure that the society can adapt and providinge support for anyone who gets layid off because of robots. In conclusion, iI think that robots performing more tasks at home and work is an unavoidable trend as technology advances. It haves many benefits like saving us time and improveing efficiency. But weHowever, we must also must be careful to minimize the downside likes, such as rising unemployment. If we can managinge this transition well, then iI beliefve it will be a positive development in the long run.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and addresses the prompt effectively by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of increased robot usage. Key strengths of the essay include a logical structure and the inclusion of relevant points regarding the benefits and drawbacks of automation. The writer presents a balanced view, which is essential for Task 2 responses. Critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, as several errors were present in the original essay. The use of cohesive devices was also limited, which affected the flow of ideas. The vocabulary could be more varied to avoid repetition and inaccuracies. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving the clarity of sentences, and enhancing transitions between paragraphs. For example, the addition of 'On the other hand' and 'However' helps to create a smoother flow of ideas. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing specific examples of how robots improve efficiency in particular industries, which would strengthen the argument. Additionally, varying sentence structures could enhance the overall quality of the writing. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some transitions between points are abrupt, and the use of cohesive devices is limited. For example, using phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' could enhance the connection between ideas. Additionally, the conclusion could better summarize the main points.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('robotic are doing'), incorrect verb forms ('can now doing'), and awkward constructions ('it have many benefit'). These errors affect clarity and detract from the overall quality of the writing. Improving grammatical accuracy and using a wider range of sentence structures would enhance the score.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and inaccuracies, such as 'robotic' instead of 'robots' and 'doing many task' instead of 'doing many tasks.' More varied and precise vocabulary would enhance the essay. For example, using 'automation' instead of 'robots' in some instances could demonstrate a broader lexical range.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing reasons for the increase in robot usage and presents both positive and negative aspects of this development. However, the ideas could be more fully developed with clearer examples and a more structured argument. For instance, elaborating on how robots improve efficiency in specific industries would strengthen the response.
6.0

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