Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

Part 2
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, there is a problem that lessfewer students are choosing science subjects at university in many countries. There are several reasons why this problem exists, and it can have significant effects on our society. There are some reasons why not enough student choose science subject at unversity. One of the reasons is that many students find science subjecttific disciplines more challenging and difficult compared to the other subjects. Science subjectcourses often require more time and effort to study, which can be intimidating for some students. Additionally, there is a perception that science subjectdegrees may not lead to as many job opportunities as other fields, such as business or humanities subjects. This makes some students hesitate to pursue a science degree. The lack of students in the science field can have negative effects on the society. With fewer individuals pursuing science degrees, there may be a shortage of qualified professionals in fields such as medicine, engineering, and technology. This can lead to a slowdown in scientific research and innovation, which is crucial for societyal advancement. Furthermore, a lack of scientifice literacy in the general population can result in poor decision-making on important issues like public health policies, environmental conservation, and technological development. In conclusion, the problem of not enough students enrolling in science subjects at the university level has several underlying reasons and can have far-reaching effects on society. It is important for educators and the policymakers to address this issue by promoting the importance and benefits of science education, and by providing support and resources to encourage more students to pursues science degrees.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing the reasons for the decline in students choosing science subjects and the potential effects on society. Key strengths include a clear structure and relevant points made throughout the essay. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing coherence with smoother transitions, reducing repetition in vocabulary, and correcting grammatical errors. Structural changes made include correcting 'less' to 'fewer', 'unversity' to 'university', and improving the flow between paragraphs. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include incorporating specific examples or statistics to strengthen arguments and varying sentence structures for better engagement. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay generally follows a logical structure, with clear paragraphs for reasons and effects. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, using cohesive devices like 'Moreover' or 'Furthermore' at the beginning of paragraphs could enhance the flow. The repetition of phrases like 'science subjects' could also be varied to improve cohesion.
6.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement ('less students' should be 'fewer students') and incorrect article usage ('the other subject' should be 'other subjects'). These errors impact clarity and accuracy. Improving sentence variety and correcting these mistakes would enhance the overall quality.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'science subjects', 'students') that detract from the overall lexical range. More varied vocabulary could enhance the essay, such as using synonyms like 'scientific disciplines' or 'academic fields'. There are also minor spelling errors (e.g., 'unversity', 'pursues') that affect the overall impression.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing reasons for the decline in students choosing science subjects and the effects on society. However, it could benefit from more specific examples and a clearer structure. For instance, providing statistics or case studies could strengthen the argument. Additionally, the conclusion could be more impactful by summarizing the key points more succinctly.
7.0

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