Nowadays public transport prices are constantly increasing. Why do you think it is happening? How can this problem be solved?
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing reasons for the increase in public transport prices and suggesting potential solutions. Key strengths include a clear structure and logical flow of ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the depth of analysis by providing specific examples or data to support claims, as well as improving the use of cohesive devices for smoother transitions between paragraphs. Structural changes made include correcting spelling and grammatical errors, refining vocabulary to avoid repetition, and enhancing the overall clarity of the writing. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary and complex sentence structures. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices could be improved. For instance, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother, and the use of linking words could enhance the overall clarity. The writer could use phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' to better connect ideas.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as 'Nowdays' (should be 'Nowadays') and 'i' (should be 'I'). These errors detract from the overall clarity. To improve, the writer should proofread for spelling and capitalization errors and aim for more complex sentence structures.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, with some variety in word choice. However, there are instances of repetition, such as the word 'increase' and 'prices.' To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer could incorporate synonyms or more sophisticated vocabulary, such as 'escalation' or 'fare adjustments.'
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing reasons for the increase in public transport prices and suggesting solutions. However, it lacks depth in exploring the implications of these reasons and solutions. To improve, the writer could provide more specific examples or data to support their claims, and ensure a clearer connection between the reasons and the proposed solutions.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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