Once we (my friends and I) decided to go out for a meal at a restaurant and try something new. It seemed difficult to suggest one place because some of us had been to the major restaurants already. It took a long time and much discussion, but we could not agree on a place to go. I became exhausted, and in a gloomy voice I said, "Stop!" All my friends turned to look at me with question marks on their faces, wondering what happened. I addressed them all and said, "Listen, guys! If you'll go along with me, let's all go to the Vanilla Room restaurant. I went there with my family last month and they have a range of tasty Asian and European dishes, with delicious desserts too. Will you come with me?" They all said, "Yes!" We linked arms, happy to have found a solution.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

I still remember one time i goI went to a restaurant with my friends and the difficulty we haved decideing where to eat. It takeook a very long time for us to discuss, but we were not able to agree on any place to go. This was because some friends had already been to many famous restaurants, so wantthey wanted to try something new. After talking talkingfor a while but still cannotunable to choose, iI feelt very tired and sayid in quite a sad voice, "Stop talking!". All my friends were surprised and confused, looking at me like putas if there were question marks on top of their heads. So iI tellold them, to please listen to me. Last month i, I visited the Vanilla Room with my family, and they haved many yummy fooddelicious dishes, both from aAsia and eEurope. AThey also gothad very nice cakes and ice cream. If all of you follow me, we can go there to eat. My friends all sayid, "Yes, of course!". We were very happy, holding each other's arms and going to that restaurant. Even though takeit took quite a long time, in the end, we managed to decide on a place for dinner. I think this shows that even if gotthere are difficulties, friends can cooperate and find a solution. Sometime needs, one person needs to take the lead and give suggestions, then others will follow. IThe important thing is that everyone agrees and feels satisfyied with the final decision. This way, we can enjoy food and time together.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively recounts a specific experience of deciding where to eat with friends, which is a key strength. However, it lacks clarity and detail in certain areas, such as the friends' preferences and the restaurant's atmosphere, which could enhance the narrative. The structure is basic but needs improvement in coherence and cohesion, as there are instances of repetition and disjointed ideas. The vocabulary is quite basic and repetitive, and there are several grammatical errors that detract from the overall quality. The corrected version addresses these issues by improving grammatical accuracy, enhancing vocabulary, and ensuring a clearer flow of ideas. Further improvements could include adding more descriptive language and varying sentence structures to enhance engagement. The tone used is appropriate for a personal recount, maintaining a conversational style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The response has a basic structure, but the flow of ideas is somewhat disjointed. There are instances of repetition, such as 'talking talking,' which detracts from coherence. To improve, the writer should use more varied cohesive devices and ensure a logical progression of ideas.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms ('i go' should be 'I went') and issues with subject-verb agreement ('it take' should be 'it takes'). There are also run-on sentences and missing articles. To improve, the writer should focus on using correct grammatical structures and varying sentence types.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is quite basic and repetitive, with phrases like 'yummy food' and 'very nice cake' lacking sophistication. There are also some awkward expressions, such as 'put question mark on top their head.' To enhance this score, the writer should aim for a wider range of vocabulary and more precise word choices.
5.0
Task Achievement
The writing addresses the task by recounting a specific experience of deciding where to eat with friends. However, it lacks some clarity and detail in the narrative, which could enhance the overall effectiveness. To improve, the writer could provide more context about the friends' preferences or the atmosphere of the restaurant.
6.0

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