Over the past third years, technological changes have resulted in greatly improved communication, and it is now possible for individuals and companies to cooperate globally. What impact does this change have on individuals and society?

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In the recent Tthirty years, Ccommunications have been more betterimproved significantly due to advanced technology, p. Peoples and organizations can now collaborate with anyone around the world. This Ttransformation had a lots had a substantial effect for theon individuals and also the whole society.society as a whole. To start, Tthis improvingement in technologiesy has enabled individuals to connect with others regardless of their placelocation. For the example, people can communicate and havinge conversations from anywhere throughby using applications like Skype or zZoom. This means they can maintaining relationships, share ideas, and connect with the people who have the same interests, even thoughif they live far away. This widening of connections has a bsignificant effect on individual's' social lifves and also their professional Nnetworks. Moreover, companies also cancan now reach a broader scope globally to find talents and ideas. In pPreviously, businesses were limited to work with onlying only within local areas, but now they can hiringe employees and find partners all over the world. This allows access to diverse perspectives, specialized knowledge, and the best talents, which can leads to innovations and Iimprovements in products, and services. Global collaborations also meaning more opportunities for employees, as they can accessing jobs and projects from anywhere. At the socially level, these changes drive towards an more globalized society where people can sharinge ideas, cultures, and resources across borders. This can fosterings global Uunderstanding and cooperation. but weHowever, we must also considering the challenges that caome with it. Inequalities in access theo technology is still existing, and there can been cultural conflicts or losingthe loss of local traditions as a result of globalization. In Cconclusion, the advancements forin communications technology over thirde past yearsthirty years have had a significant influence on the ways individuals and companies connects and cooperates globally. While these changes brings social and professional opportunityies, it' is vitally to address the challenges and make ensure that these changes bringsyield positive results for all members off society.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and addresses the prompt effectively. Key strengths include a relevant discussion of the impact of technology on communication and a logical structure with distinct paragraphs. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the depth of analysis with specific examples, improving coherence through smoother transitions, and correcting grammatical errors. Structural changes made include refining awkward phrasing, correcting verb forms, and ensuring proper subject-verb agreement. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating a wider range of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions, as well as providing more concrete examples of societal changes. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. For example, the transition between discussing individual benefits and corporate advantages could be smoother. Using more cohesive devices and ensuring logical progression between ideas would enhance clarity.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('companies also can reach broader scope'), incorrect verb forms ('can leads to innovations'), and awkward sentence structures. While the writer demonstrates some range, the frequency of errors affects overall clarity. Focusing on sentence structure and ensuring grammatical accuracy would improve this score.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and awkward phrasing, such as 'more better' and 'big effect.' There are also some spelling errors (e.g., 'opprtunities,' 'individual's social lifes'). To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions, ensuring accuracy and appropriateness.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the impact of technological changes on individuals and society. However, it lacks depth in some areas and could benefit from more specific examples and clearer development of ideas. For instance, while it mentions the benefits of global communication, it could elaborate on specific societal changes or provide more concrete examples of how these changes manifest in daily life.
6.0

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