Parents should spend more time with their children helping them with their homework. Do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In my opinion, i amI agree with thise statement that parents have toshould spend more time helping their children with homework. There are two reasons why iI think like this, which iI will explore in the following essay. To begin with, when parents helpassist children with homework, it is good chanceprovides a good opportunity for them to bond together. In today's busy world, families don not have enough time to spend with each other. Parents are working long hours, and children are busy with their school and extracurricular activities. ButHowever, when parents sit with their children and help them with homework, they can talk and spend quality time together. This helps to improve the relationship between parent and child. Secondly, children can learn better when they get helpreceive assistance from their parents with homework. Parents know their children best and can explain thingconcepts in a way that children can understand easily. Alsodditionally, parents can make ensure that children are docompleting their homework properly and not just copying from friends or the internet. This helpsupport enables children to learn better and getmore effectively and achieve good grades in school. In conclusion, iI believe that it is very important for parents to spend more time helping their children with their homework because it helps them bond with each other and also allows children to learn better. Therefore, i amI agree with this statement.
DeletedOriginal textAddedCorrected text

Expert Feedback

The essay presents a clear opinion that parents should spend more time helping their children with homework, supported by two relevant reasons. Key strengths include a logical flow of ideas and a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly in subject-verb agreement and the use of informal language. The tone has been adjusted to be more formal, and grammatical errors have been corrected, enhancing the professionalism of the writing. Structural changes were made to improve clarity and coherence, such as varying phrases and ensuring proper subject-verb agreement. Further improvements could include incorporating specific examples or evidence to strengthen the arguments and enhancing lexical variety by using more sophisticated vocabulary. Overall, the tone is appropriate for an academic essay, but attention to detail in grammar and vocabulary is essential for a higher score.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. The use of linking phrases such as 'to begin with' and 'in conclusion' helps to structure the response. However, there are some awkward transitions and repetitive phrases that could be improved for better cohesion. For instance, the phrase 'help children to learn better' is repeated, which could be varied to enhance the writing.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, with several errors in subject-verb agreement and sentence construction, such as 'this help' instead of 'this helps'. The use of 'i' instead of 'I' is also a significant error. While the meaning is generally clear, the grammatical inaccuracies affect the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing. To improve, the writer should focus on using correct grammar and varying sentence structures.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of informal language and grammatical errors, such as 'i am agree' and 'this help'. Additionally, the essay contains repetitive phrases like 'help children' and 'spend time', which detracts from the overall lexical variety. To improve, the writer could incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary and idiomatic expressions.
5.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear opinion that parents should spend more time helping their children with homework. It provides two main reasons to support this view, which are relevant and developed. However, the argument could be strengthened with more specific examples or evidence to enhance the overall persuasiveness. Additionally, the tone could be more formal, as the use of 'i am agree' is incorrect and informal.
6.0

Related Writing Samples

Part 2
5.0

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

Part 2
6.5

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
8.0

We have become a disposable society, preferring to buy new products rather than fixing existing items. What are the causes of this trend and what are the possible solutions?

Part 2
5.5

The tendency that news reports in media focus on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful for individuals and the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
7.0

Today single-use products are still very common. Why is this? What are the problems associated with this?

Part 2
6.5

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?