People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life. What are the main problems people in cities face, and how can these problems be tackled? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Life in big scityies is challenging, with many problems peoples facinge every day. I think there are two maine issues -: the first one is too many peopleis high population density, and the second is the fast-paced way of livfe. These problems influence the quality of life in different way.s. When too many people live in one place, it is hard to move around freely without traffic. Traffic makes it take longer to go anywhere, wasteing time and givecausing stress even when driveing short distances in the scity. Alsodditionally, public transport is overcrowded &and uncomfeortable. Many people cannot avoid public transport because they have no car. But if all haveHowever, if everyone had a car, it would be even worsen traffick! SoThus, overcrowding of people makes transport a huge problem in city'ies. Secondly, city lifestyle is are always rushed and hurryied. People are running here and there, nolacking patience to wait, and everyone is stressed. This is sevident in how peoples interact with each other. Like onFor instance, on the road, there is more aggression and honking. NThere is no time to talk with neighbours. AtIn the workplace, the pressure is high, even if the salary high. Lifestyle is hecticis substantial. The lifestyle is hectic as individuals strive to earn money for the high living costs in city but then no time to enjoy. Sothe city, leaving no time to enjoy life. In conclusion, iI beliefve that traffic and the fast pace of life are the biggest problems. To tackleing these issues requieres effort from individual persons but alsos as well as the government. For example, the government must invest toin improve theing public transport, to reducing the number of private vehicles, and easeing traffic issues. Company'ies should haveoffer flexible hours sto rush traffic is reduceeduce rush hour traffic. Indivijduals must stryive to bring balance in life. Taketo their lives by taking breakes, makeing time for family & and freiends, and finding peace in hobbyies or leisure peursuits. Connecting with peoples around them and slowing down, is essential; life is not a race! In conclushion, w While big city'ies offer many opportunities, they also have lots ofnumerous problems. The issues created by dense populations and hectic lifestyles can be addressed thruough a combination of better infrastrukcture, more flexibility, and personal efforts to bring life balansce to life. Still, problems will remain, and big scityies may not suit alleveryone.
DeletedOriginal textAddedCorrected text

Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task by identifying two main problems faced by people in large cities: population density and a fast-paced lifestyle. The strengths of the essay include a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more thorough development of ideas, specific examples, and clearer explanations of how these problems affect daily life. The corrected version addresses grammatical errors, awkward phrasing, and spelling mistakes, enhancing coherence and cohesion. Transition words and phrases were added to improve the flow of ideas. Further improvements could include incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary and varied sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of writing. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. The use of cohesive devices is limited, which affects the overall clarity. To enhance coherence, the writer could use more linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues and incorrect word forms (e.g., 'peoples', 'aggression'). Sentence structures are often simple and lack variety, which limits the overall grammatical range. To improve, the writer should practice using more complex sentence structures and ensure grammatical accuracy throughout their writing.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'people', 'city', 'problems') and some spelling errors (e.g., 'sity', 'mane', 'uncomfertable'). The writer demonstrates an attempt to use varied vocabulary, but more sophisticated word choices and idiomatic expressions could elevate the writing. To improve, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary and ensuring correct spelling.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by identifying two main problems faced by people in large cities: population density and a fast-paced lifestyle. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, with more specific examples and clearer explanations of how these problems affect daily life. To improve, the writer could provide more detailed examples or statistics to support their claims.
6.0

Related Writing Samples

Part 2
5.0

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

Part 2
6.5

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
8.0

We have become a disposable society, preferring to buy new products rather than fixing existing items. What are the causes of this trend and what are the possible solutions?

Part 2
5.5

The tendency that news reports in media focus on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful for individuals and the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
7.0

Today single-use products are still very common. Why is this? What are the problems associated with this?

Part 2
6.5

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?