"Planting Trees" Trees are being cut down in many countries. What are the reasons? What will be the results? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task by discussing the reasons for tree cutting and its consequences. Key strengths include a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, vocabulary range, and coherence. The structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving word choice, and enhancing transitions between ideas. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific examples or statistics to support claims and varying sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. To improve coherence, the writer should use clearer linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively, such as 'Furthermore' or 'In addition'.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues and incorrect verb forms. For instance, 'cutted' should be 'cut', and 'goverments' should be 'governments'. These errors affect the clarity of the writing. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of repetition and incorrect word forms (e.g., 'cutted' should be 'cut', 'countrys' should be 'countries'). The writer could enhance their lexical resource by incorporating a wider range of vocabulary and ensuring correct usage. For example, using 'deforestation' instead of 'cutting down trees' could add sophistication.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The essay addresses the task by discussing reasons for tree cutting and its consequences. However, it lacks depth in some areas and could benefit from more specific examples or data to support the claims made. For improvement, the writer could include statistics on deforestation rates or specific case studies to enhance the argument.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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