Please introduce where you are staying.
Sample Essay with Corrections
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The essay presents a clear introduction to the living situation, mentioning key details about the apartment, its location, and the living arrangement with a classmate. Key strengths include a logical flow and a generally appropriate vocabulary. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and awkward constructions. The structure has been adjusted to ensure proper paragraphing and to enhance coherence by using linking phrases. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include elaborating on specific features of the apartment and varying the vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for the context, maintaining a friendly and informative style.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The essay has a logical flow, but some sentences could be better connected. For instance, the transition between discussing the apartment's features and the location could be smoother. The use of cohesive devices is present but could be more varied. To enhance coherence, the writer could use linking phrases to connect ideas more effectively.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The writing contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('who are also student' should be 'who is also a student') and awkward constructions ('as London is very expensive city to live at'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and vary sentence structures.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'apartment' and 'students'). Some word choices are incorrect or awkward, such as 'a apartment' (should be 'an apartment') and 'convinient' (should be 'convenient'). To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and check for spelling errors.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The writing provides a clear introduction to the living situation, mentioning key details about the apartment, its location, and the living arrangement with a classmate. However, it lacks depth in describing the facilities and does not fully address the prompt in a structured manner. To improve, the writer could elaborate on specific features of the apartment and the benefits of the location.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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