Schools are spending more time teaching with computers. Some people say that teachers are still important in the classroom, while others believe students can learn well by using computers instead of teachers. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Part 2
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, many schools are teachsing student bys using computers a lot, nosometimes without a teacher in the classroom sometime. Some peoples saying that teachers are still are important in schools for teaching students, butwhile other peoples thinks that students can good study well through using computer for learnss and do not need teachers. I will discuss the advantages of these methods and give miney opinion. O On the one hand, teachers can helps students learn in many ways that computers cannot do it. Teachers can asking students questions and assisting them in understanding better by explainsing things again or in different ways. Alsodditionally, teachers can lookobserve if students isare paying attention and engage them, butwhereas computers cannot knowing if a student is listening or not. Teachers can knowingalso identify each student's strenghths and weeaknesses to help them improove. SoTherefore, having teachers is important for student learn. Oing. On the other hand, learning bythrough computers haves some benefits too. Sometimes, students can study faster or better when they use computer programs that isare makde for theyir level and interests. Everytime tThey can repeat the lessons if they do not understand and try again. AlsoFurthermore, they can choose what topikcs they want to study and go at theyir own pastce. Computers have mucha wealth of information can give studentthat can provide students with knowledge that teachers maybe not know. In my view, both teachers and computer iss are important in the classroom. It is best for students to have teachers who can help them, but also to use computers for self-study and practice. Teachers should be knowingledgeable about good computer program for helpings that can assist students and show them how using itto use them. In this way, students can learn in the classroom and also engage in self-study with computers after class.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task by discussing the advantages of both teaching methods and presenting a personal opinion. Key strengths include a relevant topic and a logical structure. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, vocabulary range, and the depth of examples provided. The structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving coherence with better linking phrases, and enhancing vocabulary usage. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing specific examples or case studies to support points and varying sentence structures more effectively. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure, but the flow of ideas is sometimes unclear due to awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. The use of cohesive devices is limited, which affects the overall clarity. To enhance coherence, the writer should use more linking words and phrases to connect ideas logically, such as 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' more effectively.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues and awkward sentence structures (e.g., 'teacher can knowing each student strenght and weekness'). These errors hinder clarity and accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on mastering basic grammatical rules and varying sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of their writing.
4.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of repetition and incorrect word forms (e.g., 'teach' instead of 'teaching', 'peoples' instead of 'people'). The writer attempts to use some varied vocabulary, but it lacks sophistication. To improve, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary and ensuring correct word forms.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing the advantages of both teaching methods and presents a clear opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and the examples provided lack depth. To improve, the writer could include more specific examples or case studies to support their points, as well as a clearer structure with distinct paragraphs for each method.
5.5

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